Bayley's Blankets

My aunt bought me a beautiful, soft, delightful blanket for Christmas. Upon seeing me open it, my husband immediately exclaimed, "That'll be Bayley's." I told him I would not allow her to have it, and he replied, "Good luck." See, Bayley loves blankets. In fact, I think they might be her favorite thing. Bayley loves blankets so much that I have experienced her to, at times, be covered by 4 blankets. She claims every blanket we own and declares it to be hers. She will approach us when we are using a blanket and nudge at us until we let her share it. Bayley wrestles herself under the blankets and burrows into a little ball. Sometimes, it is difficult to find her in the midst of the sea of blankets. For Christmas, we bought Bayley 4 new blankets of her own to replace the blankets she ate that we use in her crate. She had put such big holes in her "crate blankets" that on most days, we'd arrive home from work to find her wearing her blankets like a dress. Of course, as much as Bayley might love this, it concerned us because it's obviously dangerous for her to have these blankets in her crate! So, we bought new blankets. We put two in her crate for her to use (I mean, destroy) and gave her two extras for every day usage (and to replace the "crate blankets" once she destroys them). Because of this, I thought it would be easy to keep her away from my soft, cuddly blanket. Alas, the one thing I forgot about Bayley's love for blankets is that the softer the blanket, the more she loves it. So, the last week has gone something like this: Christmas Day: I sit down with the blanket and wrap myself up to watch the snow. I cover Bayley with her new blanket. All goes well. Day after Christmas: I curl up with my blanket and Bayley comes over to investigate. I tell her no and give her one of her new blankets. She accepts this and all goes well. (Fast Forward a few days): Now begins the battle. I'm in the kitchen working and I walk into the living room to see Bayley considering my blanket. I give her a different blanket and with slight hesitation, she accepts it. A few hours later, I'm sitting on the couch and I notice Bayley standing between her new blanket and my new blanket. She begins to nudge at my blanket and I quickly correct her. She looks at me with an inquisitive look and nudges the blanket again. I swear sometimes my dog is like a 2 year old. I correct her and she stands between the two blankets glancing at her's, then at mine, then at me. She does this several times and it's obvious that she is struggling to obey. Finally, she cuddles up with her blanket and all goes well. And then, the other day, I walk into the living room and find Bayley asleep under my blanket. How did I lose that battle? And so it begins... Yesterday, she decided to sweetly cuddle up next to me and I happened to be under my blanket, so I let her cuddle under with me. Yep, we shared. My husband's opinion is that Bayley's plan all along was to slowly wear me down. Maybe so. Either way, it appears that my blanket will be occasionally shared by Bayley, though I will continue to claim it as mine when I'm around.

Queen Bayley and the Grasshoppers

After a lengthy hiatus, I have decided to return to my much abandoned blog, dust it off, so to speak, and share a delightful tale with my dedicated readership. It goes like this: Bayley truly enjoys running through the grass in our yard and tracking for treasure. She especially enjoys tracking when the grass is long, as it is now, and when the bunny, AKA Peter Cottontail, AKA Adrenaline Junkie, heads into the yard (but alas, that's a tale for another day). Lately, I've enjoyed sitting outside in a lawn chair and reading while I let Bayley track through the yard. Some nights, I will provide for Bayley a trail of Cheerio's to go hunt down in the yard. The other night, however, I had gone outside to chat on the phone with a good friend. Bayley was wondering around the yard as usual. And then I notice that Bayley has come running, nay, leaping through the yard with something in her mouth. She goes to the door and asks me to let her in. I turn to look and she has a grasshopper in her mouth. Disgusted by this, I tell her that she cannot go in and so she happily runs off into the yard, puts the grasshopper on the ground and rolls all over it. And then, sure enough, my dog ate that grasshopper. Yum. Amused and slightly nauseated, I continue my conversation with my friend. Until I notice Bayley crouched in the corner of the yard, pawing at the dirt and dancing a bit. I watch for a while until I notice that she has captured yet another grasshopper. I watch as she runs through the yard with it, throws it on the ground, rolls on it, runs through the yard with it again, rolls on it, and on and on until... yep, she ate it. Bayley did this no less than 4 times in the hour I was outside with her. And I have been wondering why I can't seem to get her to lose any weight. Turns out, she's been snacking on grasshopper treats at night!

Unfathomable

It is no secret that I work with broken, hurting people. I have the pleasure, privilege, joy, and sometimes burden of seeing people at their lowest points in life. I see them cry and beg for the hurting to stop. I hear their stories of pain and sorrow. I hurt with them, encourage them to keep going one day at a time, lend them my hope when they have none, and sometimes, I see them daily to be sure they are still making it through the storm. I offer them hope, admire their courage, and reflect on their pain. They teach me and shape me in ways that nothing else could. And, in doing all of this, I have heard horrific tales of the depravity of humanity. I have heard things that most people would not believe even if I shared. I have heard of so many and such varied atrocities that by now, sadly, nothing shocks me anymore. I have met murderers, rapists, addicts, prostitutes, abusers, orphans, widows, widowers, and survivors. And I have found one thing in common among all of them: pain. It seems that the one thing common to all individuals, whether the victimized or the perpetrator, is suffering. No one gets out of this life unscathed by the bitterness of a sinful, broken world.
And this has gotten me thinking about the pain that we experience in our lives. Recently, an acquaintance of mine got engaged. Seeing her smiling face, I couldn't help but think that 2 or 3 years from now, she will no longer be smiling innocently and excitedly but will be wondering why marriage is so hard and so painful. (Please do not misunderstand me- marriage is phenomenal and a wonderful blessing; it also happens to be painful, as all things are). I hate that I have become so cynical. I wonder if there would have been any way for me to avoid that given the nature of my work. I remember the days of innocence when I believed the best about people and thought that truly horrific things didn't really happen.
This week, I experienced two separate things that caused me to face once again the depth of suffering in the world. I heard a story of suffering that is unfathomably horrific even to me, the one who carries the tales of horror told by so many in this life. And, I watched a video about the body language of dogs in which I observed an abused dog cower in the corner, yelping, shaking, and trying to hide when a woman walked toward her, hand raised, yelling in a deep voice, "You bad dog" to assess whether this dog had been abused or not. I am finding more and more similarities in relationships with people and relationships with dogs.
Traumatized people cower in their relationships. The wrong word, action, or situation, even when entered into innocently, can cause the greatest fear. Dogs respond in the same ways. They quantify for me on a tangible basis all of the things I experience with my clients but cannot fully quantify.
Both of these experiences this week left me questioning, "How can someone do that?" How can another human knowingly and willfully abuse a child? How can an individual hit a dog? How can someone scream at a dog or continue to approach a dog in an angry way when that dog is cowering in a corner, clearly terrified? What makes these things possible. I know all of the intellectual answers to these questions: lack of education and awareness, unhealed wounds of their own, sin. Yet, even knowing these answers, I continue to struggle to comprehend and accept in my mind that these realities occur.
I have always been an extreme thinker. My closest confidantes often remind me that I am, once again, thinking in extremes and must seek the middle ground. When I hear these stories of pain and horror, I find myself so amazed at the resiliency of the beings with whom I share my world. I think in the extremes: these things are unforgivable, these people should be punished, there's no way healing can occur. And yet, then I met the perpetrators. I see the pain in their own lives. I see them suffering and sorrowful. I experience the joy of seeing people heal. I watch people survive even in the most traumatic of circumstances. I see them fight for life. I see dogs learn to trust again. I see them come to life and release the fear. And it shows me in mighty ways the courage of all of these broken beings. It reminds me of the reason why I continue to pursue the fight against the darkness. And it also reminds me of the reason that God continues to allow sin and bitterness in our world. Without the darkness, we'd never see light. I am so thankful for the light of Christ because I have seen the darkness that exists outside of Him.

I praise my God who has made me and healed me and continues to sanctify me. I praise Him that I don't have to be the one to execute justice or heal lives because He does and He will. I cannot wait for the day when we will live in His fullness. For now, I will read Psalm 73 often and praise Him for the light that shines more brightly because it is held against the darkness of our sinful world.

It's All About Relationship

As a counselor, I believe that the only way to truly heal from the wounds of our past is through loving, healthy, healing relationships with those around us. I have seen an accepting, caring, genuine relationship heal a great number of deep wounds in many individuals. I have also seen these relationships heal wounds in my own life. In school, I learned technique after technique designed to help bring healing to people's lives. Yet, time and again, I have found that the use of techniques is not what heals. The relationship is what heals. Relationships are dynamic, ever growing and changing, messy, and beautiful. I have come to believe that in working with children, trust is built within a loving, accepting, authentic relationship based on empathy, respect, and fair boundaries. I have discovered over and over again that people are motivated to change and become better through loving, patient acceptance of who they currently are, sins and all. I know beyond any doubt that my salvation and sanctification come through Christ's loving acceptance of me in spite of my sins and continued grace for me. And yet, until recently, I had this mistaken belief that somehow, my relationship with my dog did not apply to these same standards.
When we adopted Bayley, she was fearful, timid, and unresponsive to us. She did not trust us. She would not go in her crate. She would not play. She would not bark. She did not eat well. She drank from puddles outside instead of drinking the water we gave her from the sink. In our attempts to bring healing to our beloved dog, we began to find some hopeful answers in the work of Cesar Milan. He is well known for rehabilitating fearful dogs. So, I watched his television show and read some of his books. We learned many techniques that we began to apply with Bayley. And, to our amazement, these techniques worked! We taught Bayley that we could be trusted, that we were on her side, that we would not hurt her, and that in our responses to her, we always wanted her best. She began to eat eagerly, drink from her bowl, gladly run to her crate, and play with us regularly.
Pleased with the progress Bayley had made, I began to attribute all of our successes (and failures) to the proper or improper use of our techniques. Then, a few weeks ago, I started to chat with a friend of mine who mentioned to me some concerns she has found in the techniques of Cesar Milan. I began to research and consider my thoughts on this topic and she also offered me some reading materials to assist me in exploring different points of view.
One of the materials she gave me is a book called, "Bones Would Rain from the Sky". As I have been reading this book, I have been astonished by how much the author speaks about the relationships we have with our dogs. She believes in the need for mutual respect as well as for your dog to view you as the leader in the home. But, she identifies and acknowledges that dogs have feelings and needs. These feelings and needs are not the same as those of humans, but they are valid nonetheless. Developing mutual respect and leadership with your dog, she asserts, is not based on a list of rules or techniques but is based in relationship. In reading this book, I have been brought back to the basics, it seems. I have been reminded more and more that what I love most about life, people, and counseling is the aspect of relationship!
I don't yet know where I stand on all the various techniques and theories of dog training and behavior that are out there, and I look forward to learning more about this topic. But, one thing I have learned as I have been reading through this book is that even with our dogs, it is the relationship that heals. It's not technique that has healed Bayley. It is the relationship that she shares with us. It is our consistent responses of love and acceptance toward her that has brought her to a place of trusting in us. It is our consistency in setting boundaries with her that has caused her to feel safe. It is our gentleness and authenticity in responding to her that causes her not to flinch when we touch her. My relationship with my dog is defined by my ability to empathize with her and respond to her feelings and needs in a respectful, accepting way that has allowed her to blossom into her true self. While technique helps in this, healing and change is never defined by technique! Even with my dog, it is the relationship that heals!
This realization has caused me to become less rigid with technique and more fluid in my responses to Bayley. As a result, I find that my affections are stirred more greatly for the beauty, mystery, and fullness of my God. And that is about relationship, too.

Pride: The Worst of them all

Earlier this week, I spent several hours talking with a man who had come to a place of deciding that maybe life is no longer worth living. As I spoke with him, I was struck by a sad realization. This man talked with great pleasure and pride of his many accomplishments in life. He spoke of being intelligent. He spoke of achieving greatness. He spoke of being sought after and liked. And yet, in the end, he spoke of wanting to die. In all of his achievements, he had not found peace. He had not found life. He had not found healing.
Then, later in the same day, I listened as an acquaintance of mine spoke of his great accomplishments. He spoke of his rank in school as a child. He spoke of his great achievements in school. He spoke of the places he's been and the things he's done. He spoke of his wealth. And yet, I know one important fact about this individual. While he has great knowledge, he lacks wisdom. He lacks the ability to apply the things he knows in ways that can help bring fulfillment to his life and the lives of those around him. This man knows the Lord, yet I was struck by how eerily similar he sounded to the first man with whom I had spoken.
Recently, I experienced a situation where some individuals in a position of power and authority made accusations against a young man that proved false. They focused all of their time and energy on these accusations. In the meantime, they ignored this man's pain, which seemed so obvious to me. Many people were wounded and this man continues to struggle with great pain that has not been addressed. The men who made the accusations are just now beginning to repent, but I can't help but wonder if repentance has come too late to change this man's fate.
Almost 2 years ago now, I met a young man who told me he that he hated himself. He would not identify why, telling me that it was too shameful. He talked around the subject for many weeks and always landed at the conclusion that he would be judged and rejected if people knew what he had done. He killed himself rather than bring his sins and struggles into the light for others to see.
It's often been said that pride is the most destructive of all sins. As I spoke with that distraught man the other day, it struck me that the truth of this lies in a single fact. Pride keeps us from self discovery, exploration, growth, depth, healing and acceptance of our need for a Savior. Pride prevents repentance. Pride prevents community and erodes relationships. Pride prevents the dark night of the soul when you realize that what you are and what you were called to be are vastly different. Pride keeps you from recognizing that you are fallen, broken, and need restoration. The other interesting thing I noticed about pride the other day is that pride is rooted in insecurity. I was struck by the reality that the man who spouted his achievements wanted to kill himself. The man who rattled off his accomplishments drastically misses the mark on wisdom. The men in authority focused on one false accusation because of how it would make them look if the accusation proved accurate. The young man who killed himself rather than confess did so to avoid being seen and known.
It angers me that our sinful nature prevents us from seeing the deadly effects of pride in our lives. We seek self sufficiency. We seek to save face. We seek to make much of ourselves. And all the while, we have a Savior who will gladly be our justifier, our restorer, our advocate, our redeemer. Alas, to make room for Him, we must release the pride. This is far better but our pride keeps us from believing it. And this oxymoron is Satan's great joy. It saddens me.

I long for the day when pride will no longer have any power. In the mean time, I will continue to place my hope in the One that has conquered all and plead with Him to break my pride and bring me near to Himself.

Miracles

I have always enjoyed the times in my life when I have had the opportunity to witness miracles. Whether big or small, I never get used to experiencing miracles in this life. I know that many people think miracles don't happen, but my life experiences have shown me that they do!
Every day, it seems, I experience the small miracles of seeing people's lives change in drastic and beautiful ways. As a counselor, I think that every time someone has an "AHA!" moment when they finally see things rightly for the first time, every time someone experiences unconditional acceptance and this changes life, and every time someone experiences healing from years of pain and hurt, this is a miracle.
I have experienced these miracles in my own life as well. I have been able to experience great healing and grace in relationships and I believe that without God's hand, this healing would not be possible.
Of course, many people identify birth as a miracle. I so enjoy seeing and holding newborns because it shows me the power of God. The tiny hands, feet, mouth, and all the moving parts made perfectly are truly remarkable.
But, there have been 2 times in my life that I have experienced a life altering miracle. It's so interesting to me that the big "the laws of nature don't account for this" kind of miracles can be so unnerving. And yet, at least in my life, this is my experience.
The first big miracle I experienced occurred when I was 22. I was in a horrible car accident on the highway one night. Me and my 4 passengers stood in the left lane of the highway for 30 minutes at the bottom of a hill at 2 AM waiting for rescue workers to help us. When the rescue workers came, they told us that they took so long because no one survives an accident at that particular location. They asked us multiple times if we were the ones in the accident because they could not believe that we were all alive and uninjured. I walked away praising God and yet also experiencing symptoms of PTSD. Why? Because what happened that night did not fit my beliefs about life or God. I did not know how to process and integrate this event and it took some hard work for me to be able to see God rightly as a God who stops time, bends the laws of nature, consumes a bush with fire without it being burned up, feeds His people for years with manna in the wilderness, and raises the dead.
I, like many others, had always thought too little of God, saying that while He might have done those things in the past, surely He would not, dare I say could not, do those things in the present day. I don't know about you, but I know that I have always had a hard time believing beyond any doubts that the things I read in the Scriptures really, truly happened!
Last week, I had the opportunity to experience once again the power, greatness, and Majesty of my God. One of my closest friends learned about a month ago that her husband had a large brain tumor in his head. They scheduled surgery which got canceled twice and then changed doctors and had another MRI done. Please note that there were 3 MRIs done initially and all 3 showed the tumor. The MRI done a week ago showed NO TUMOR, only a 1 centimeter cyst where the tumor once existed! Many, many people had been praying for this answer for several weeks and yet, seeing God's power still shocks me!
Here's the thing I love most about God. Even when He performs miracles, He shows His grace and mercy for His children. It's as if He knew that the questions that would arise from having 3 MRIs show a tumor and 1 show no tumor would be, "Is this the right MRI?" I LOVE that He left a 1 centimeter cyst in my friend's brain to be gracious unto His children who are prone to doubt.

I am glad to say that I worship this God.

Bayley's Birthday Present

When we got Bayley, we had no way to know how old she was. The vet told us she was probably between 9 months and 1 year old when we adopted her in April 2010.
In July 2010, we experienced a week of AWFUL behavior out of our dog including vigorously chasing flies, urinating EVERYWHERE, and chewing on all things hers and otherwise. Eventually, we discovered that our sweet puppy was in heat. Aha! That explained everything. So, we set up an appt. to get her spayed and determined that at this time, she must have been about a year. We decided to go by the rule that a puppy's second heat occurs at about 1 year of age. So, my husband and I (or mostly just I) decided to create Bayley's birthday (for celebration purposes) on July 24, which is the day that we had Bayley spayed.

So, if we were to do that whole, "One year ago today" thing, last year a week ago, Bayley was chewing on everything in the house, chasing bugs religiously, and urinating everywhere. She had a really great reason for it though, since she was in heat.

This year, Bayley decided to remind us of what that week was like. Over the past week, Bayley has chewed up 2 large pieces of plastic, several Kleenox, multiple pieces of paper, and has struggled greatly in the obedience department. I assumed she just needed some additional exercise since we have been so busy recently that we have not had a chance to go to the dog park with her. So, we have began playing with her duck outside with her more and have tried to be more diligent with walking her. Even so, Bayley has been full of energy and disobedience!

An aside, I have become more and more convinced that there is nothing that releases Bayley's energy like the dog park. I think the dog park gives her such a great chance to socialize with people and dogs alike as well as track around and so, if she has gone for more than a week without going to the dog park, we see some difficulties in obedience start to emerge.

So, on Sunday evening, in celebration of Bayley's birthday, my husband and I (or mostly just I) sang Bayley Happy Birthday and gave her a yummy dehydrated chicken tender. We (or I) then gave her a new stuffed animal, a rabbit, and ran around the house playing for about 15 minutes. Now, if I have never mentioned this before, Bayley LOVES her stuffed animals. However, once she senses any weakness in them, she kills them. Apparently, and much to my dismay, the rabbit must have been quite weak because within 15 minutes of receiving the toy, she disemboweled it. Sad day for the rabbit.

Then, we went to bed. Bayley came and slept in the bed with us as she usually does. I had to go on a crisis call and came home at 5 AM. I climbed into the bed so thankful to finally be able to get into my bed and sleep for at least a few hours before heading to work. And, upon climbing into bed, I immediately jumped out of bed again! The bed was soaked.

Yep, you guessed it. Bayley's birthday present to her mom and dad was to pee in the bed. Guess she wanted to remind us of her first birthday.

If this is how Bayley celebrates birthdays, maybe we'll stick to celebrating adoption day instead.

Bayley's Dinner Guests

Bayley LOVES to entertain. Any time we have visitors at the house, she gets so excited that someone has come to visit her. Bayley cheerfully greets our visitors with lots of jumping, running, and general mayhem (that is, once we let her loose). So, you can imagine how great Bayley's delight when we had several guests over for dinner last week.

My coworkers and I enjoy each other's company enough that sometimes, we get together outside of work. Recently, we decided that we would have a monthly dinner for the group of us that have become good friends. It's my family, my sweet German coworker and her family, my spunky Vietnamese coworker and her family, and my always supportive, now works in Lewisville, coworker and her boyfriend. My sweet German coworker has been hounding me for months to make her homemade pasta, so when we decided to do a monthly dinner, I quickly volunteered my house for the first of the gatherings.

I planned, I prepared, I cleaned, I shopped, and I cooked. In short, I got excited! I like company just as much as Bayley, I think! On the day of the big event, I spent all day making pasta. I made homemade meatballs, tomato sauce, pesto sauce, and lots of noodles, both gluten free and regular. One thing you have to understand about homemade pasta is that it is a lot of preparation work. First, you make the dough and then you let it sit for a few hours. After this, you roll the dough into long strips and finally you cut the dough into the noodles. Bayley loves when I make pasta from scratch because invariably, some scrap noodles fall on the floor and she takes great delight in this.

So, as I was rolling the noodles on the day in question, Bayley was laying at attention in the dining room, maybe 10 feet from my work space. I had rolled several strips of pasta and they were lying out on the counter waiting for the next step. I saw Bayley eying the pasta quite surreptitiously but was not at all prepared for what happened next. Of the several pieces laid out on the counter, one piece was hanging just a few inches over the edge of the counter. When rolling pasta, one needs both hands: one to hold the pasta to feed it through the roller and one to hold the pasta as it comes out the other side. I think my clever pouch observed this fact and, taking advantage of timing,made her move. All of a sudden, while I was mid roll through a piece of pasta, Bayley darts over, quick as lightening, jumps up to the counter, grabs the piece of pasta hanging over the edge of the counter, and carries it off to the dining room with her. Shocked and amazed, I dropped my pasta, ran after her and grabbed the kidnapped piece away from Bayley. She looked up at me innocently but responded immediately when I told her, "Go lay down." Bayley dejected went to lay in her crate where I made her stay for the next several minutes.

After this adventure, I became nervous about Bayley's behavior once guests began to arrive. Hoping she would behave herself, I continued to prepare for dinner. And then, the time came. All my guests began to come to the door. Among the guests were my spunky Vietnamese coworker's 2 year old and my sweet German coworker's 8 month old. Of these two guests I was particularly nervous due to the uncertainty about my dog's behavior.

Dinner progressed wonderfully, however. Bayley loved her guests, especially the 2 year old and 8 month old. The two year old chased Bayley through the house all night. And Bayley chased the 8 month old around the floor. The kids also truly enjoyed Bayley's toys, most notably her Kong (much to their parents' chagrin). Bayley enjoyed sniffing the kid's toys but did not touch. Overall, I was quite proud of my dog! She even handled it like a champ when we had to lock her crate and put up her water dish because the 8 month old wanted to play in both of them.

My guests went home, I praised my dog, and we all went to bed. The next day, I was going about my normal daily tasks when Bayley came into the room, playfully happy, and dropped at my feet a new toy. Upon inspection, I realized it was a small, red triangle that belongs to one of the 8 month old's toys. I praised Bayley for bringing me the toy and put it away to give to my sweet German coworker the next day.

Upon arriving at work the next day, I proudly present to my sweet German coworker the found triangle and make her guess where I found it. She says, "In her water bowl? In her crate? In her toy box?" I tell her, "In her mouth! She brought it to me!" My coworker's reply? "It was really nice of her to bring it to you because we looked all over the house for it before we left and couldn't find it. I think she hid it."

Bayley does have a habit of hiding her toys around the house, so I just had to laugh.

That Bayley, she sure is sneaky.

My Awesome Person Trick!

Anyone who has ever met my sweet dog, Bayley, knows that she is a bit of a diva. "A bit of" might actually be an understatement. Bayley loves to be pampered in every way possible. She loves to cuddle up right next to you and gets slightly annoyed if you move and cause her discomfort. She likes to burrow under blankets (even if you are currently using the blanket) and is more than slightly offended if you fail to give her the blanket you are using when she wants it. Bayley loves to have you help her get comfortable under a blanket if she is struggling with this and she expects that you will allow her to curl up in the bed with you at night if she wants.

Bayley sometimes prances around the house while looking back at you to make sure you are following her to the destination she thinks you need to go with her. Usually, these destinations include going to the pantry to let us know it is time for us to feed her, going to the back door to let us know it is time for us to let her outside, or going to her toy box to let us know it is time to play with her.

But, of all the things Bayley does, the one I like the most is when she begs for treats. Bayley has a few favorite things in life and I believe that they are, in this order: 1) food of any kind (except veggies); 2) walks with her masters; 3) the dog park; 4) catching bugs; 5) blankets. So, it would make sense that if food of any kind is Bayley's favorite thing that dog treats would be favorite among food of any kind. In the dog treat category, there also exist different levels of love for Bayley. Bayley loves store bought treats. But, above all, Bayley loves dog treats that I make her from scratch. In fact, I think Bayley might even have a love affair with these treats. She loves them so much that I refer to them as "my people trick". You know how dogs do tricks to impress humans? Well, these treats are my trick that I do to impress my dog.

Here's how it works. I get out all the ingredients and begin to make the dog treats. Usually, you have to roll and cut the dough with cookie cutters (yes, I have dog themed ones!). Bayley has become familiar with this process and when I begin to make the treats, she comes running into the kitchen and prancing around excitedly. Then, I bake the treats. She runs to and from the oven throughout the baking process trying to tell me that she wants a treat. Usually, right when the treats come out of the oven, before they have even had time to cool, I will throw one on the floor for her to appease her curiousity. She will play with this treat by nipping and pawing at it until it cools and then devour it. Later, once the treats are cooled, I put them in a container on the kitchen counter. And this is where the real fun begins.

Bayley will frequently make trips to the kitchen to stare longingly at the kitchen counter where the treats are housed. She will come and get us to tell us that she wants a treat. She'll come and run to us and jump on us and then run into the kitchen while looking back to ensure that we are following and then sit down and stare up at the counter. If we fail to give her a treat, she will run into her crate and sit in there hoping we will then give her a treat. Bayley gets a treat when we put her in the crate to leave in the morning. She knows this. She also gets to eat her daily meal after sitting and looking up at us. She knows this, too. Bayley pulls out all the stops to obtain her special dog treats.

In fact, the other day, Bayley wanted a treat so badly that she came to find me and nudged at me for 30 minutes before I finally got up and asked her what she needed. She led me to the dog treats. I told her no and left. She then ran into the bedroom where my husband was, nudged at him, and ran back to the kitchen. I went to the bedroom to share what she was doing, and upon seeing us both in the bedroom, Bayley stood at the end of the hall, tail wagging, ears perked up, and looked at us expectantly. So, my husband (I think just to mess with her) got up and began to walk toward her. She ran to the treats and when this didn't work, she sat down. When this didn't work, she ran into her crate. And then, when it still didn't work, she ran back to the treats. I'm pretty sure we could have had her do just about anything in that moment if we had just followed it by a treat. And that, my friends, is an awesome people trick.

Geocaching

Today, I had my first "hard core" experience with geocaching. My aunt and uncle are fanatically about this "lifestyle" and have wanted to expose my husband and I to the joys of this experience for quite a while. So, today, we fianlly got together for a day of geocaching fun.

To begin, let me explain the idea of geocaching for those who don't know. Essentially, geocaching is a global Easter egg hunt for grown ups. You look up "caches" and let use your GPS device to navigate to the location in which the cache is hidden. Once you arrive at the location of the cache, you explore the area, moving rocks, bushes, and sticks until you uncover the cache. Caches are usually camoflauged to allow them to blend in and they usually are either a film canister, a small pill bottle, or something like that. Once you find the cache, you open it up, collect any trinkets inside, replace those trinkets with some of your own, sign the "finder's log" and replace the cache for the next person to find. Some caches are easy to find and some are more difficult. There are caches in parking lots, parks, creeks, cemetaries, fields, forests... pretty much everywhere. Some are called "park and grabs" which means that you can just park, find the cache quickly, and leave again. Others take several minutes to find. Most are small but some are "micro" or "nano" caches and these seem to be hardest. Apparently, some times people make a cache look like something else, like a piece of a tree or a screw and then it is really hard to find it! So, this is geocaching.

Now, let me set the scene of the day for you. We arrive at Starbucks to meet my aunt and uncle and when they arrive, I observe my uncle in a T-shirt that says, "I (heart) Geocaching." Oh, and they also have a geocaching bumper sticker on their car. Oh, yeah, it's going to be an adventure. Next thing I know, we are in the parking lot of the Starbucks looking around a gigantic rock to find a "quick cache" in the parking lot before beginning our real adventure. And, so, the day went on from there in this type of fashion.

Here's the thing I learned about geocaching today. While looking for a cache, people (and actually, you) will do things that any sane person (and you, on a normal day) would never do when not looking for a cache. And, you will do it happily and willingly. Example: today, we pulled off the road, walked through a field, hiked through poison ivy, and dug around an overgrown tree for 30 minutes to find a "micro" cache that looked like a screw in a tree branch. Then, we sat in our car while we watched a police officer almost arrest a hitchhiker who just happened to drop a bag of "nothing" immediately before being stopped by the officer. My aunt actually called 911 to tell them that the man dropped a bag before being stopped so dispatch could tell this to the officer. She told him we had pulled over to pull stickers out of our shoes and this is why we were on the side of the road. Cause, um, how do you explain to 911 that you were actually geocaching.

Other things that you will do while geocaching that you would never otherwise do include wandering through parking lots digging around lamp posts, walking through a creek bed sticking your hands in ANY hole you find in the rock face, and picking up sticks and rocks to look underneath them. Um, see, generally I try to avoid encouraging snakes to find me, and yet, today I found myself happily inviting them to come visit me when I disturb their hiding holes.... crazy.

And here's the craziest part of it all. It's so much fun! Now that I am home, clean, and safe, I find myself thinking about all of the places where something might be hidden without me even knowing it. And, I feel quite accomplished for having such a fun adventure today. The best part of all of it is that I got to spend the day with some of my favorite people laughing and searching while hanging out in the great outdoors and I thinking about nothing other than finding the next cache. What a fun and peaceful day.

I can't wait to go again!

The Choking Game

“The choking game is a dangerous practice of tweens and teens in which they self-strangulate in order to achieve a brief high. The high is the result of oxygen rushing back to the brain after it is cut off by the practice of strangulation.” (taken from http://tweenparenting.about.com/od/healthfitness/f/ChokingGame.htm)

Tweens and teens play this game in groups by physically choking each other and alone through use of belts, leashes, scarves, and ropes to strangle themselves. In a group, one teen chokes another until the “player” passes out. Then, the first teen releases the grip around the player. Alone, the player ties one end of a ligature around the neck and either pulls it tight or ties the other end around a door knob, bed post, curtain rod, or other object in an effort to strangle him or herself. The individual plans to release the ligature used to induce strangulation right before passing out. In some cases, the teen is unable to release the ligature from around the neck prior to passing out. In these instances, the individual dies from strangulation and/ or hanging.

The choking game is also referred to by several other names including the fainting game, Flat liner, Pass Out, Gasp, Suffocation Roulette, Blackout, and Hangman.

According to a recent study, 1/3 of all 8th graders reported knowing some one who had played this game. 6% of 8th graders reported playing it themselves. 40% of the kids surveyed said they saw no danger in playing this game. (from http://chokinggame.net/)

Many children who engage in this activity are intelligent, highly achieving adolescents who think this game is a safe alternative to using drugs or an easy way to achieve a high without getting caught using drugs. The game is usually played by teens age 9-16 but children as young as 6 have died playing it. It is suspected that 1% of all completed suicides are due to the choking game but in most causes this is a difficult distinction to make.
Risks associated with playing this game include seizures, broken bones, brain damage, memory loss, strokes, concussions, and death.
Signs and Symptoms include:
• Any suspicious mark or bruise on the neck, sometimes hidden by a turtleneck, scarf or permanently turned-up collar, or wearing clothing that covers the neck even in warm weather.
• Changes in personality, such as overtly aggressive, irritable, or agitated.
• Any kind of strap, rope or belt lying around near the child for no clear reason—and attempts to elude questions about such objects.
• Headaches (sometimes frequent and excruciatingly painful), loss of concentration, flushed face.
• Bloodshot eyes or any other noticeable signs of eye stress such as bleeding under the skin of the face or eyelids.
• Confusion or disorientation after being alone.
• A thud in the bedroom or against a wall—meaning a fall in cases of solitary practice.
• Any questions about the effects, sensations or dangers of strangulation.
• Wear marks on furniture (bed posts, door knobs, etc.)
• Linens or ropes tied around door knobs or furniture
• The frequent need for privacy
For more information: http://tweenparenting.about.com/od/healthfitness/f/ChokingGame.htm; http://chokinggame.net/; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fainting_game; http://www.gaspinfo.com/en/home.html

My Hope

People often ask me why I do what I do for a living. It is no secret that I have a stressful job, and one that many people freely say they would not like to do. Some weeks are more stressful than other weeks and cause me to question for myself why I willingly subject myself to the heartache and pain I deal with every day. This past week has been one of those weeks. It's caused me a great deal of sorrow, anxiety, and more than a few tears. It's caused me to cry out to God and it's caused me to question my abilities. It's caused me to wonder, "Can I do this?", "Am I competent?", and "Am I crazy?" It's caused me to wonder what others think of me and my abilities, if I can ever really do any good for those I seek to help, and if I can trust God to make beauty from ashes.
Tonight, I was talking with some friends about the difficulties I encountered this week and I mentioned that I don't like to see people hurt. One of them said to me, "You're in the wrong profession." Because I have wondered this same thing more than once this week, I began to think about why it is that I am in this profession.
Counselors become counselors for many reasons. One of the things we learned first in school was to accept that one of the reaons why we chose the counseling profession is to meet some of our own needs such as the need to be needed, the need to help others, the need to be in control, and the need to find purpose and meaning in life. All of those resonate for me and this week I have been faced squarely with the knowledge that sometimes, the reason why I do what I do is less about helping my clients and more about meeting my needs for control, meaning, and purpose. When I feel lost and don't have answers to offer those that seek them from me, I question my role, my abilities, and my usefulness. I begin to criticize myself for my weaknesses and failures, and I become convinced that others see these weaknesses too and judge me for them.

And yet, one fact remains and this fact will forever be true. God is always the answer. When I feel lost and even when I don't feel lost, God is the answer. He is the reason why I do what I do. He is my hope. I do hate the hurting of this world. I do hate seeing depravity, sin, and Satan win the souls of some people. I do hate that the Enemy tells all of us lies and these lies bring hurting and pain and sorrow and sometimes this pain and sorrow causes people to take their own lives. It does seem completely meaningless to me. It does sadden me and impassion me to fight against it. That is precisely the reason why I do what I do. I do what I do because I hate the hurt within this world. It is a way that I have found to offer hope and healing for the Enemy's lies. I can never heal the wounds. I can never free a soul. I can never deliver someone from the pain that causes such suffering. I can never offer satisfying answers to the question of, "Why?" "Why does God allow this suffering, this pain, this hurt?", "Why does God sometimes allow young people to die?", "Why does God allow such trials to befall mankind?" I have no truly satisfying answers for this.
But, what I do find is that the one answer I have is enough for my soul and for the souls of all men. The answer that I have is that God is enough. God has the answers. God knows why. And all that He does is good. ALL that He does is good. He will always redeem, He will always restore, He will always heal. He will always weave a beautiful tapestry out of the darkness and pain. He will always bring glory to Himself and peace to His people. And in the end, He will return. He has conquered over death. He has conquered over sin. He has conquered over depravity. He has conquered over Satan. So, even though it seems in this moment like Satan wins some of the battles, my God will always win the war. ALWAYS. And I want to be a part of His working in this world. I want to be a vessel that He can use if He so chooses to bring hope and healing and comfort to those that are struck by the fractured reality that sin has created. I want to be used by Him to push back the darkness and the pain that so often transcends. I want to offer His light into that darkness.

And so on weeks like this one, when I struggle with questions and anxieties without any easy answers from a human point of view, I rest on the one thing I hope in: Christ alone. For I was dead in my transgressions, unable to save myself... but Christ saved me through no work of my own. And that is enough for me. That is enough to cause me to trust Him even when it is difficult and even when I don't know how. Sorrow will last for a night, but joy comes in the morning. My God will sustain me, love me, and see me through even the most difficult weeks. He sees me as He has made me, redeemed and transformed, rather than as the sinful, anxious, insecure, and depraved person I am now. He brings trials to increase faith. He brings pain to increase faith. He brings darkness to greater magnify His light. That is the hope that I have and the hope that I can offer to others.

And that makes it all worth it.

Kids These Days

Everyone knows the old adage that kids grow up too fast. But, in today's world, kids are growing up faster than ever. We all want to believe that our kids are not being exposed to drugs, sex, abuse, bullying, violence, gangs,  and immorality. However, this is far from the truth and as we continue to pretend that our children remain innocent, they are dying. They are dying physically through suicide and homicide. They are dying emotionally through anxiety, grief, depression, anger, and trauma. They are dying spriritually through exposure to wicca, Satanic rituals, immorality, gangs, choices with lifelong consequences, abortions, and anger with the Living God.

In today's society, if you choose to put your child in public school or if your child has friends that are in public school then most likely, your child will know about sex by the age of 7. Kindergarteners are talking about sex. And, sometimes, they know what it means. Not only that, but kindergarteners sometimes experiment sexually. And this creates life long effects on children. In today's world, 1 in 3 children are abused sexually (and this includes boys) and physically. And these children don't speak up because often they are threatened and told that if they speak up, they will break up their families, be abused further, be placed in foster care, and all of this will be their fault.

By the time your children are in their tweens (10-12), they will likely be exposed to drugs at school. If you're lucky, this will be marijuana, cigarrettes, and alcohol. If you are less fortunate, your children will be exposed to huffing, and in later teen years, cocaine, mushrooms, and prescription pills. Not only that, but your children will either be exposed to children who chase highs or will chase a high themselves through reckless and dangerous means. Right before you asphyxiate, there is a natural high that occurs. So, yes, teens today intentionally asphyxiate themselves to try to catch this high. The idea is that they will stop this behavior before they actually die. Sometimes, teens do this by placing plastic bags over their heads. Other times, teens do this by playing a particular game called the choking game. The idea of this game is that teens challenge each other to hang themselves fastest, longest, and best. They take anything that they can use to hang themselves and they put it around their neck and then around a door handle or a bar in the closet or anything they can. And then, they choke themselves. They intend to stop this choking right before they pass out. But, sometimes, they pass out before they can get the item that is choking them off of their neck. And, they hang themselves. Yes, they die. Also, female teens today chase highs by soaking tampons in alcohol and inserting them into themselves. And before you say, "My child is too young for this" let me be clear. Children are young as 11 or 12 are doing this.

In today's world, self injury is common place. "Everybody does it." Teens and even children as young as 7 or 8 cut themselves with razors, knives, and box cutters. They also burn themselves and scratch themselves. They do this to "relieve pain" or to "fit in". They do this when they are angry, when they are sad, when they are confused, or when they want to be accepted at school by their peers. Sometimes, this is a fad and other times, it turns into a life long coping mechanism. Teens today also starve themselves and make themselves throw up in order to gain control over some part of their lives and, you guessed it, "fit in" and "look pretty". They exercise too much, they abuse laxatives, they gag themselves, they throw away their lunches without eating them and tell their parents they ate. They skip breakfast but pretend they didn't. They eat dinner at their friend's (but not really). Or they already ate (but not really).

Teens today stay home alone. They play XBox and Wii and Kinect and computer games. These games are violent.  They expose our children to things that we wouldn't even want to see. They desensitize our children to violence. They allow children to take out their aggression on others and then this transfers to real life. Teens today also watch television shows that expose them to sexual immorality, violence, homicide, and suicide. Teens today utilize social media. They get into fights on facebook, they bully each other on facebook, they threaten suicide on facebook. And parents have no idea.

Teens today are bullied. Heavily. This can be from peers calling them names that you would not believe these children even know, pushing, shoving, threatening to fight, threatening to kill, and actually fighting. This can be stalking and harassment. This can be by one peer or several peers. And this is one of the leading factors in teen suicide today. I promise you that if your child goes to public school, they are either being bullied, bullying, or have a close friend who is being bullied. And guess what, the administrators of these schools do not address this. They say they will but they don't. They say things like, "There's nothing we can do" and "It's just kids being kids" and "It's no big deal". But it is a big deal. It is one of the main reasons why teens do all of the things listed above. This occurs in elementary school, middle school, and high school. And, it lowers your children's self esteem greatly. Please hear me when I say that bullying is damaging.

Today's teens get abortions without parental knowledge or consent. They have unprotected sex. They think about suicide. They think about homicide. They attempt suicide. Sometimes, they take guns to school and kill others before they kill themselves. And parents have no idea. Teens today are depressed, anxious, scared. They do not know what to do or how to navigate these years. They do not know how to help their friends or handle the crises that occur in their every day lives. Let's face it, the crises that our children face every day, most of us would not know how to handle. In today's society, suicide is one of the leading causes of death among teens and teens are one of the two groups that are at highest risk for suicide. Teens are impuslive, think they are invinceable, and cannot see past their momentary struggles. They do not realize how lethal some means of suicide can be and they want someone to know how badly they are hurting, so they attempt thinking they will survive, but they don't. Or they attempt because they don't want to survive. Either way, they die. If your teen (or tween) is in public school, they likely have a friend who is considering suicide if they are not considering suicide themselves. Let me be clear- children as young as 6 have thought about suicide and even attempted suicide. Children as young as 8 or 9 have completed suicide.

And here's the worst news of it all: Teens today do not talk to adults. They sure do not talk to their parents. Why? "They don't care about me"; "They don't have time for me"; "they wouldn't understand"; "they won't listen"; "they will get mad.; "they won't believe me". And so, teens today are exceptionally vulnerable to the influence of their peers. If a friend of your teen or tween self injuries, your teen or tween is likely to begin this. If their friends starve themselves or purge, your children likely will too. If a friend commits suicide, yours will likely try it or at least consider it. And this one is especially scary because now you have a grieving teen that is open to influence and has no idea how to handle the feelings of grief and confusion. And, so, sometimes, children make suicide pacts. Teens influence other teens.

And mostly, I blame adults for all of this. If you are a parent, the best thing (and absolutely necessary thing) to do is talk to your kids. And when I say to talk to your kids, I don't mean to beat around the bush and ask vague questions. If you ask vague questions, you will get vague answers. If you ask questions in a harsh or angry way, you will get no answers. Talk to your kids honestly. You are not going to expose them to more than they have already been exposed to (again, unless you have done a great job of sheltering your children through the past several years of their lives, and then you might expose them to things they did not already know. And, also, if this is you- good job. Keep it up!). But, if you know you have not done a great job of protecting your children for the past several years, talk to them. Tell them how much you love them and care for them and want to help them. Let them know that you are going to help them and not get angry with them. Let them know that they are not in trouble and that you will not punish them. Ask them if they are thinking of suicide. Ask them if they are being bullied. Ask them if they have been sexually active. Ask them if they have been exposed to drugs. Ask them if someone has touched them inappropriately. Ask them if they have a boyfriend/ girlfriend. Ask them specifically using the words they use- sex, drugs, suicide, cutting, abuse. These words are important. Use them. If your child is young and you are concerned about them, talk to them using language they understand but still be direct. You can ask your 6 year old things like, "Do you ever think about dying?", "Do you ever wish you were dead?", "Has someone ever touched you in your private places?" and things like this.
Pay attention. Get to know your children's friends. Get to know their lives. Know where they are going. Know what they do on the internet. Be your child's friend on facebook. And check their facebook page often. Block chat rooms. Set specific rules for your children about internet usage. Don't let your children be victimized by predators by allowing them to post intimate details of their lives online or visit chat rooms. Know what your children are watching on television. Know what your children talk about with their peers. Know what your children struggle with daily. Invest in their lives. Set aside some time every night or at least once a week to listen to your children. Truly listen. When I say listen, I do not mean to say to your kids, "It'll be okay" or "It's not a big deal". Try to understand what they are feeling, what they are thinking, and don't minimize their pain.

And for gracious sake, if your children tell you they are having dark thoughts, struggling with pain, or thinking of suicide and you do not know what to do- GET HELP FOR THEM! If they are being bullied, do something. And once you do something, make sure that took care of the problem. And if it didn't, do something else. Fight for your kids. Advocate for them. They need your help even if they don't think they do. Ask your kids which of their friends they are worried about and why. And then be there for those friends. Tell the parents or school staff of those friends about the concerns. Be involved.

Your children's lives depend on it. And I am not being melodramatic here. The difference between you taking time to truly invest in your children can mean the difference between your children living through the teen years and your children dying before they are 18.

My "Cat"

I don't like cats. I know this is shocking. Actually, I really love the big, big cats. The ones that eat you. Or at least they could eat you if they desired. I like those cats. From a distance. Not up close. Never up close. But, the little cats, the ones that stay inside your house and generally ignore you until it's convenient for them to be your friend- I don't like those cats. For one, they climb up on everything. And secondly, they catch mice and bring them to you as if they've brought you the best present ever. Also, they do their business in a box that ends up stinking up the joint. And, they are moody. Some cats are like dogs. They are cuddly, sweet, and playful. These cats, I truly enjoy. This is why I have a dog. Dogs are playful and sweet and cuddly and they want to hang out with you. Dogs don't bring in dead vermin and they don't climb on everything in sight.

At least that's what I thought was true of dogs. Then, we got Bayley. Bayley is one of those dogs that thinks she's a cat. She has many dog traits: she cuddles (when she wants to), she plays, and she does her business outside. But, she also does many cat like things. She climbs on tables- all of them, not just some of them. She climbs into the window sills as well. If I put the blinds up, she'll stand in the window sill and look outside. She even climbs on the bricks outside that stick out at the bottom of the window. She chases bugs and she has moments of moodiness.

But, the worst, most cat like thing Bayley ever did happened one morning when I let her outside. She found something truly wonderful and delicious and began playing with it. Bayley loves to eat bark. So, when she came to the door, tail wagging and eyes filled with delight, I assumed she had found a piece of bark that made her day. I opened the door saying, 'hey girl, what did you find?" and then immediately shrieked and slammed the door in my poor dog's face. Much to my dismay, Bayley had a full grown grasshopper in her mouth which she was completely intending to bring inside. I told her to leave that nasty thing outside, so she put it down and sat at the door calmly. I opened the door again and she ran to retrieve her prize and carry it into the house. Only, much to her chagrain, she found the door once again slammed in her face. I began to lecture her through the door as if she could understand me, "you are not bringing that thing in my house. Forget it!" Finally, dejected and sorrowful, Bayley came inside leaving the grasshopper on the porch.

Later in the day, we let Bayley out again. She found her delightful toy and began to play with it. Then, as I stood there watching, things went from bad to worse when she ate that dreaded grasshopper. Yep, she ate it. Legs and wings and all. Gross. Pleased as punch, the dog came back inside and immediately proceeded to burp. Guess it was a tasty meal. All I know is that I did not let that creature's mouth anywhere near me for the next several days. Grasshopper cooties... yuck!

A Day in the Life

One of the best conversation topics of all time is the topic of work and career choice. Usually, people will ask me what I do for a living and I answer, "I am a crisis counselor". Then follows the blank stare, awkward silence, and finally... "Oh. Cool?" After the awkward wears off, the conversation most frequently turns to questions about what my job actually entails. Today, I have decided to answer this question for my small but loyal following of readers.

I am a crisis counselor. This means I work with individuals who are in a crisis situation. The broad definition of crisis services from which I usually work is that I assist any individual who is suicidal, homicidal, or psychotic in some way. Generally, we also help people who are depressed and thinking of dying a passive death but not actively killing themselves. And, we help people who are experiencing anger to the point of aggressive behaviors that could harm someone but that are not homicidal. In the realm of psychotic, we help anyone who believes they are Jesus, believes they are on a mission from Jesus, believes the FBI is watching them, disrobes in public thinking it's okay, thinks aliens are after them, hears "the voices", believes a sniper is at the window, defecates in inapproriate places, believes they are being poisoned, thinks others can hear their thoughts, or generally does not make sense but thinks he or she does.  Some of the most common things I see that contribute to the above crises are trauma resulting in depression, anxiety, and thoughts of death (i.e. PTSD), domestic violence or abusive relationships, general relational difficulties, substance use, sexual assault or past abuse, grief, and unmedicated mental illness including depression, Bipolar, and Schizoprenia.
I become involved with an individual because I get a phone call asking for a psychiatric evaluation on someone who has presented to law enforcement or medical staff either at a private residence, a hospital, a jail, a school, or some other location with one of the above concerns. Once I get called, I go with a partner to the scene and assess the individual for threat of harm to self or others including thoughts of suicide, passive thoughts of death, past suicide attempts, thoughts of homicide, self harm, aggression to others, and psychosis. Once we complete our assessment, we determine one of two things: does this person need inpatient treatment at a psychiatric facility or can they remain safe enough to engage in outpatient treatment.
If we determine that someone needs inpatient treatment, we further assess several things. The first thing we ask is if this person is agreeable to signing him or herself into the hospital. We then determine if the person is oriented enough (knows who he or she is, what date it is, what the situation is, and where he or she is) to sign him or herself in to the hospital. If the answer to both of these questions is yes, we facilitate the client getting to and signing in to a mental health hospital. If one of the above answers is no, we seek an involuntary commitment to the hospital.
In order to involuntarily commit someone to the hospital, we contact another authority, namely our mental health deputies. These folks are part of the sheriff's office and have the right to take someone into protective custody if the person is in immediate danger to self or others. The deputy completes an assessment and either takes the client to the hospital or determines the client can remain safe on an outpatient basis. If the deputy decides for the hospital, the client attends a court hearing the next day to determine length of hospital stay. If the deputy refuses to take the client to the hospital, we work on safety planning for outpatient services.
Now, if we decide on outpatient services, we typically look for a number of things. First, we determine if the person has any social support to help keep him or her safe. Second, we explore if the client is willing to participate in treatment to begin to improve in condition. We also aid the client in developing a safety plan including coping skills as well as removing access to anything the person can use to harm self or others.
If we recommend outpatient for an individual, then they can receive counseling services and medication as well as case management services to increase community supports for the person. If they want counseling services, then either myself or one of the other counselors on staff begins to work with them in counseling. We each have 2 days of the week set aside for counseling clients and the other 3 days of the week are set aside to do psychiatric assessments. We do not counsel psychotic individuals cause, well, it's not terribly effective.

And that, in a brief nutshell, is what I do for a living.

Bayley's Misadventure with a Tapeworm

*Disclaimer: The following story contains information that may be considered graphic and therefore may not be appropriate for viewers with weak stomachs.*

When we were first presented with the idea of adopting Bayley, one of the biggest concerns that my hubby and I had was whether Bayley would be healthy or not. We knew that she had been a stray that had recently been rescued and we were concerned that she might have something lurking inside her that routine shots would not cure. We were told that she had been taken to a vet and had been given her shots, but we knew we'd be taking a chance that she'd have worms. I researched the types of worms dogs can get, causes of these worms, and treatments available for the worms and then we discussed this possibility at length. Essentially what we came to decide is that all worms that a dog might have, with the exception of the heartworm, are easy to kill and not life threatening. The heartworm is life threatening but can also be killed with the right, albeit expensive, medication. Heartworms also, apparently, leave a dog looking rather unhealthy. So, my hubby and I decided that when we went to see Bayley, if she looked healthy, we'd likely be in the clear.

On the day we went to get Bayley, she greeted us at the door and then ran across the coffee table of the house to sit on the couch with us. Yep, this was a healthy looking, active dog. We instantly fell in love with her and brought her home. Over the next 1 1/2 months, we fed Bayley no less than 3 cups of food per day. She weighed 17 pounds when we got her and I thought for sure that 3 cups of food would help her gain weight pretty quickly. The average female beagle weighs between 22-27 pounds and needs 1 cup of food per day. In 6 weeks time, Bayley had not gained any weight, despite eating 3 cups of food per day. She also did these strange things. I frequently observed her drinking water from puddles after it rained. I could not get her to drink out of her water bowl. She insisted on drinking from the puddles. I assumed this was due to her history as a stray. So, the day that she ate the raw hamburger meat I had just brought home from the grocery store, I also assumed this was from being a stray.

And then it happened. One day, about 6 weeks after we got Bayley, I was taking her for an evening walk and when she relieved herself, I saw it. There in her stool was a wriggling little white thing, about the size of a piece of rice. After I overcame the initial, "EEEWWW GROSS!" reaction, I picked up the stool in the puppy poopy picker upper bag that I carry with me when we walk (so as to me a responsible and neighborly pet owner) and I inspected it. I know. Gross. It's sort of like when you're watching a scary movie and you cover your eyes because you know you don't want to see this part, but then you peek anyway because you're just so darn curious you can't help yourself... yeah, it's like that. So, I inspected the poop. And then, naturally, I brought the dog and the poop home for my husband to inspect. Only he refused to inspect the poop. I guess that he'd be the one person in the theater to say, "Yeah right, I'm not watching that!" Logical, really. I think he even said something like, "Are you nuts? I'm not looking at her poop. That's gross."

So, once I dispensed of the poop, I quickly went to the computer to google, "tapeworms in dogs" and found, to my dismay, that a tapeworm can live inside a dog for at least 1 month before you even know it is there. Apparently, the tapeworm only becomes noticeable once it finishes a full life cycle and lays eggs. Yep, the segments that come out in the poop are full of little eggs. Again, Gross. These only come out once in a while, as the tapeworm lays eggs. So, it's possible for a dog to have a tapeworm for many, many months before any human ever notices. I also learned that the treatment for a tapeworm is simple. It only requires 2 pills. One pill is given immediately and one is given in 2 weeks. Apparently, the pill kills the tapeworm and then this worm shrivels and eventually the whole thing comes out in the dog's stool in one long, shriveled up piece. Um... GROSS. From what I read, the length of the tapeworm when it comes out is only a small fraction of the length of the worm when it is inside the dog (you know, cause the pill made it shrivel and all).

The next day, I called the vet and they told me, "Yep, that sounds like a tapeworm. Come on by and get some pills", which I did, of course. We treated Bayley and several months later, this white thing that looked like a piece of string presented itself in her bowel movement. For the record, I had no desire to inspect this one, nor did I.  When we treated the tapeworm, Bayley instantly began gaining weight. Today, she eats 1 cup of food per day and weighs in at 25 pounds. She refrains from eating raw hamburger meat but she does still drink from puddles. And come to think of it, the other day she climbed on the table and ate our lunch. Hm. Maybe those strange things she did weren't about the tapeworm after all.

Let's Talk About: Suicide

Well folks, when I started writing this blog, I made a promise that there would be more to it than posts about Bayley. I have decided to incorporate into my posts a discussion series about various topics which are of a more serious nature and are of importance to me. The first topic in the series (as the title describes) is suicide. Given my line of work, I have a lot to say about the topic of suicide including risk factors for suicide, how to talk to someone who might be considering suicide, and what to do after a suicide occurs.

With medical illnesses, we commonly look for "signs and symptoms". With suicide, we look for "risk factors". Risk factors are things that might put someone at a higher risk for suicide. There are several different risk factors for suicide, including acute risk factors (things happening right this moment), chronic risk factors (things that happened in the past that increase the likelihood of suicide), and general risk factors (this is sort of the miscellaneous category). To help people remember the acute risk factors for suicide, some creative men and women came up with a mnemonic: IS PATH WARM. Here is what it stands for:

IS PATH WARM (Acute risk factors)

Ideation: does the individual have ideations of suicide (put simply: Does the person want to die? Does the person want to kill him/herself?)
S: substance use/ abuse: (Is the person using substances excessively? How about more than usual?)
P: purposelessness (Does the person feel like there is a sense of purpose in life?)
A: anxiety/ insomnia (Is the person having difficulty sleeping? Are they feeling anxious?)
T: Trapped (Does the person feel trapped in life or situation?)
H: hopeless (Does the person have any hope that things will get better?)
W:withdrawn (is the person withdrawing from friends or family?
A: Anger (Is the person experiencing more anger than usual? Maybe becoming irritable?)
R: reckless behavior (Is the person engaging in behaviors that would be considered reckless? Like driving too fast, drinking and driving, self injury, etc?)
M: mood swings (Is the person experiencing sudden or drastic mood swings?)

Next, we can look at chronic risk factors for suicide. These include:
1) previous suicide attempts: the likelihood of attempting suicide again increases with each subsequent suicide attempt. Also, the lethality of suicide attempts increases with each attempt.
2) chronic isolation: the less support someone has in life, the more likely he or she is to attempt suicide
3) past abuse: this includes any kind of past abuse, including physical, sexual, and verbal/ emotional as well as neglect. It also includes rape and domestic violence.
4) significant medical illness: chronic pain increases the risk of suicide as does any terminal illness or medical condition that decreases quality of life.
5) poor coping skills
6) low self esteem
7) diagnosable mental illness: this includes depression, anxiety, PTSD, schizophrenia, or any other mental illness. Most frequently, I come across individuals with depression, anxiety, and PTSD from past trauma.
8) family history of mental illness or suicide: people who have had someone close to them commit suicide are more likely to commit suicide.

Some other general risk factors to consider when thinking about suicide include:
1) age: older individuals and teenagers are most likely to attempt suicide
2) sex: men are 3x more likely to complete suicide than women and women are more likely to attempt suicide than men. Men usually use more lethal means to attempt suicide.
3) Bullying: this is significant for children and adolescents. It would appear that bullying significantly increases the risk of suicide in the younger population (just look at the recent news stories of teen suicides...).
4) Change in sleep patterns (sleeping more than usual or less than usual).
5) change in eating patterns (eating more or less than usual)
6) giving away important possessions
7) going from feeling unusually sad to very happy without any significant life changes occurring (sometimes people feel happy once they have resolved to kill themselves).

It is also important to know that people are at greatest risk for suicide when a deep depression begins to lift because they don't want to go back to that dark place. Also, recent losses (including jobs, houses, family members, pets, or the death of a loved one) increases risk of suicide. Middle aged white males are at a higher risk than any other individuals to complete suicide (especially if they have recently had a job loss).

Now that you know the risk factors for suicide, you are ready to have a discussion about suicide with someone. In our society, there are a few topics that are taboo and frightening to discuss. Suicide is one of those topics. We have a hard time talking about death and we have an even more difficult time asking people if they want to die. We think that we might put ideas in people's minds or push them over the edge. I can assure you, this will never happen. Here are some basic guidelines for talking with someone about suicide.

First, start a conversation. Try to understand the person and build some sense of trust. Ask what's bothering them. Comment on the fact that they seem different lately or they seem down or you want to help. Ask if they are okay. As you talk to the person, look for clues that can help you engage in a discussion about suicide. These can include things like, "I just can't go on like this"; "I'm tired"; "I'm done"; "I don't think I can take it"; "I just want to go to sleep"; "I wish this were over"; "I don't know how long I can do this".
As you talk with the person about the pain he or she is feeling, you can gently ask about suicide. It is important to use the words, "suicide", "death", and "kill yourself". You can say something like, "With everything going on, I am wondering if you've been thinking of killing yourself?" or "Are you considering suicide?" If the person says no, help them brainstorm ways to solve the problems they are facing and continue to listen to them. If the person says yes, ask them what is causing them to want to kill themselves. You can also clarify if they want to kill themselves or if they just want to die. Sometimes people think death would be easier and would like to fall prey to a random act of death but they are not thinking of actively taking their own life.
When people are thinking of suicide, they will feel ambivalent. They will be torn between the desire to live and the desire to die. Talking to them about this ambivalence will help the person move from wanting to die to wanting to live. Most of the time, people don't want to die. They just want the pain to stop. It is important to listen to a person express reasons for wanting to die before moving on. People cannot think about safety planning or reasons for wanting to live until they feel heard in their desires to die. I promise you that having them talk about this will decrease their risk rather than increasing it. People just want to be heard and understood!!!! Don't be afraid to have this discussion.
After you've listened to the reasons for wanting to die, ask the person what reasons they have for wanting to live. They might mention family, pets, morality, hope for the future, or fear of going to hell. I personally do not believe that if you kill yourself, you will go to hell, but I never take this reason away from people. Anything that will keep the person alive is acceptable at this point! We've had people stay alive for their goldfish before!
Next, engage the person in a discussion about lethality. Ask them if they have thought about how they would kill themselves? When? Where? With what? (you know, the 5 W's and H from English class). Ask for as many details as they can give you. Much of the time, the first method a person gives you will not be the intended method. It is important to ask, "Have you thought about how you will kill yourself?" and if the person says, "Yes" and tell you a method, follow up with, "Have you thought of any other ways?" until the person says no. The most lethal ways to commit suicide include firearms, hanging, and jumping. Once you have assessed the lethality of the suicidal ideations, you can begin to safety plan with the person. Begin asking him or her to tell someone close to him or her about it, to stay with you so that you can keep them safe until they can get professional help, ask them to give you the item they are considering using to kill themselves (pills, guns, knives, rope, etc). If you do not think you can keep this person safe, talk to them about the need for treatment. You can call 911 and they will respond quickly. You can also go to your nearest ER. There are also a number of crisis hotlines to call. Here is one: 1-800-273-TALK. It is important to get someone who is considering suicide some professional help. The best time to do that is as soon as you begin to feel lost or overwhelmed by what the person is experiencing. Last, once you have helped the individual, help yourself. Talk to someone about your feelings and take some time to debrief from a stressful situation. Then, congratulate yourself for saving a life.

If someone you know or love does commit suicide, there are two very important things for you to do:
1) DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF.
2) Get help for you and your family members (if applicable). There are many support groups for survivors of suicide as well as professionals of all types willing to help you walk through this difficult, confusing, and trying time. It's worth it to seek out someone who can help you walk through the grief and pain. Even those of us that deal with suicide every day need help when a client completes suicide. Needing help to heal is not shameful.

**I realize that I have changed tense many times in this entry (from person to they, etc.) Please excuse this. I find it tedious to write him/her every time!**

The "Beagle for Bayley" Debacle (part 2)

When we began to search for a "Beagle for Bayley", my hubby and I decided we wanted a beagle that would ultimately be submissive to Bayley because we feared that otherwise, she would just close off again. We discussed looking for beagles at the pound but did not want to have to rehabilitate another dog. We wanted a dog that was already fairly balanced that would help Bayley maintain her playful energy and help her overcome her anxiety. We also considered getting a puppy from a breeder but eventually vetoed this idea for a few reasons: 1) beagles, we quickly learned, are expensive; 2) we did NOT want a puppy.

Realizing that Bayley had come from Craig's List, I decided I'd check it out. At first, I found a gorgeous tricolored beagle that looked almost identical to Bayley. She was a year old and seemed perfect. I attempted to contact the owner and realized that, to my dismay, I had contacted a client. Uh, no.

After much searching, we found another dog that seemed like a great fit. She was also a tricolored beagle who was 2 years old. We set up a meeting and when we got to the house, I realized that I knew these folks too, and not necessarily from anywhere good. (This should have been my first indication to get the heck out of dodge, but excitement blinded me). We brought Bayley to meet this new dog and the two hit it off fabulously! I had never seen Bayley play with another dog as well as she played with this little beagle. They seemed to be a perfect match! We found out that this dog was currently in heat, so we arranged to come pick her up in 2 weeks, once her heat was over.


(Fast forward two weeks): On a Friday night, after I had been out on call all night the previous evening, we once again brought Bayley to see the new dog to ensure that the two will still get along now that this other dog was out of heat. We brough Bayley into the house and the dog and family all ran to greet us. Bayley immediately tucked her tail underneath her and the two stared at each other for a bit before the other dog nonchalantly walked away. Bayley began to explore the house and came upon the new dog's food. Before we knew it, the new dog was between Bayley and the food and was growling at Bayley. Definitely a difference from the first meeting. (this should have been the second clue to leave while we could). My hubby decided to take the new dog for a walk to release some energy and remove the dog from the tension in the house. The new dog apparently had never been on a leash before and fought my hubby throughout the entire walk. (Clue 3, maybe?) Naive and determined, I guess, we decided that this new dog would just need a bit of time to adjust to us so we took her home. My hubby took her and Bayley for a walk together to help them form into a pack and I got the new dog's belongings set up in the house.


The pack then arrived at the house and we introduced the new dog to the kitchen and living room. The new dog immediately found one of Bayley's hoofs and started to chew it. Bayley came near and the new dog growled at her. Not only that, but the new dog (let's call her Killer... yeah, that seems to be a good name), hunched over this hoof, bared her teeth, and got ready to fight. My sweet hubby forced the dog into submission and I removed Bayley. We then removed all food products. Next, it was time for dinner. We got both Killer and Bayley's food out and attempted to place the two bowls on the floor far apart from each other. Killer went to Bayley's food bowl and attempted to bite Bayley while commendering her bowl. Once again, my hubby forced Killer into submission and I removed Bayley. My hubby then spent an hour trying to teach Killer to be submissive to him regarding food. I quarantined myself and Bayley into a back room but I heard many fights in that hour. Killer turned out to be quite the violent, aggressive dog. By this point in time, we'd had the dog for about two hours and I was ready to give her back! My hubby still believed we could work with this dog so we kept trying. Bed time rolled around and we introduced Killer to our room where we had put her bed next to Bayley's. She refused to acknowledge this bed but went into our bathroom. My hubby tried to remove her from the bathroom and she growled, snarled, and attempted to bite him. Another fight ensued and eventually, we got the dog to lie down on the floor. I drifted off to sleep pretty quickly and was too exhausted to get up throughout the night, but I do know that my poor husband was up every hour with Killer training her to lay down instead of wandering the room.

The next morning, we woke up bright and early and let the girls outside. Killer began to bay. She bayed, and bayed, and bayed some more. Fully convinced that she had awakened the entire neighborhood, I went to call her inside. While outside with the dogs, I ran into my neighbors and their new puppy. Secretly, I began to think about how the puppy would make a great playmate for Bayley and I started to wished that we'd met her about 24 hours earlier, thus avoiding this whole fiasco. Eventually, we coaxed Killer inside and noticed that we hadn't really been paying much attention to Bayley. We looked around the house for her and found her curled into the smallest ball she could possibly form and hidden in a far corner of the house. We quickly realized that she had spent most of the time that we'd had Killer in this spot. With no further ado, my husband and I decided to give the dog back. So, I called the previous owner and left a message. As the hours past, I called the owners several more times with no answer. We began to research safe alternatives for giving up a dog on a Saturday afternoon. We were getting desperate; my nerves were shot, my hubby's nerves were shot, and Bayley had retreated back into herself. Killer had completely upended our peaceful, balanced family. Finally, we decided to just drive Killer back to the house she came from and hope someone was there. I gave the owners one final call and got an answer. Praise Jesus! The owner said that she definitely wanted  Killer back (I gave her the choice to have the dog back or have us take the dog to a shelter) so we brought Killer over, the owner dumped her back in the yard, and we went home. I anticipated that Bayley would be slightly sad for her new "friend" to be gone, so I released her from her crate thinking she'd go looking for the new dog. Instead, Bayley came out of her crate, jumped on my husband and I, waged her tail and pranced through the house. I considered this to be her way of thanking us for saving her from Killer the demon dog.


(Fast Forward to present day): Once and a while, I look on Craig's list and find Killer listed again. Sometimes, she is said to be 2, other times 3. My husband believes that her owners sell her to unsuspecting families as a way to make money. Meanwhile, Bayley has become best friends with the neighbor's puppy.

Maybe a puppy isn't such a bad idea after all.

The "Beagle for Bayley" Debacle (part 1)

I am not sure if many of you know the story of how we acquired Bayley, so I thought I'd share it here. When we got Bayley, I had been wanting a dog for some time. My sweet hubby had told me that once we got a house, we could consider getting a dog. Both of us have always enjoyed beagles and we knew that's the kind of dog we would like to get. However, when Bayley came along, we definitely weren't looking for a dog. We had only been in our house one month when one day at work, a co-worker randomly asked, "Hey, does anyone want a beagle?" I automatically perked up and began to ask some questions. Turned out my coworker had gotten a beagle off of Craig's list the week prior and her daughter was severely allergic. I got the information about Bayley and came home to ask my hubby. After discussing it briefly, we decided we could meet the dog over the coming weekend and decide if she would be a good fit for us. We went to meet Bayley and instantly fell in love with her friendliness and energy. The rest, of course, is history. So, we came home with our newly acquired beagle and began to learn many things about her. For starters, we learned that Bayley was terrified. Apparently, Bayley had an owner that abused her. Then, she was a stray for a time before being found by a family that took her in, got her healthy and then put her on Craig's list. We learned that Bayley would not play, that if we tried to touch her, she cowered, and if we walked toward her, she flinched as if we were going to kick her. We learned that in Bayley's short life (we estimate she was 9 months old when we got her), she had been through 4 owners. We learned that she was terrified of her crate and that she cried and whined any time we put her in there. We learned that Bayley had severe separation anxiety, to which the incident in which she ate our blinds when we left the house for an hour can attest. So, we began to read books by Cesar Milan and we started to watch his show, "The Dog Whisperer". We began puppy rehab. Soon, we had rehabilitated Bayley to respond to us without flinching and to go into her crate on command. She still cried when we left, she still tried to leave with us (including darting out the front door any time we opened it) and she still refused to leave our side when we were home. But most disturbingly, she still wouldn't play. Mostly, Bayley just curled into a little ball and hid in a corner. We'd throw balls, introduce toys, give her treats... the dog wouldn't play.

After about 1 month, we began to notice that Bayley would occasionally approach one of her toys if we weren't looking. Mostly, she still just laid around and tried to anticipate our every move. Slowly, though, with time and patience, she began to play. And then something miraculous happened. This dog became the most energetic, playful creature we had ever seen. It was like we couldn't get her to stop playing. It is hard to believe now that Bayley at one point in time did not play. So, after about 2 months of rehabilitation, we had a playful pup on our hands. The dog hardly laid down. She was just so energetic. And we started to notice something else- we couldn't keep up with her. She never got tired! We'd play with her for what seemed like ages and then she'd still want to play more. So, she started playing by herself. We began to wonder if Bayley was lonely. Beagles are naturally pack animals and Bayley had become quite social at the dog park by this point in time. We began to wonder if maybe Bayley needed a friend: a beagle for her very own.

And thus began the search for the perfect beagle for Bayley.

(To Be Continued...)

The Dog Park

As I mentioned in my last post, I have a beagle named Bayley. Bayley loves to play. Bayley also loves to track, sniff, and run. Sometimes, Bayley catches a scent when we open our front door and we have to chase her through the neighborhood. In fact, in our first month with Bayley, we did this no less than 4 times. One thing we have learned over the past 10 months with our sweet girl is that if we take her to the dog park once or twice a week, she does a great deal of tracking there and comes home relaxed and content, so we have made it a habit to visit the dog park at least weekly.

Now, for those of you who do not own dogs, let me explain the wonders of the dog park. The dog park is a magical place where dog owners can take their dogs to socialize with other dogs that are similar in size to their pup. The park is a large, fenced in area where owners can let dogs run and play off leash. The particular dog park which I frequent has 3 different fenced in areas: the large dog park, the medium/ small dog park, and the aggressive/ fearful dog park (for those dogs that need time to acclimate to other dogs before being placed with said dogs). The dog park I visit also has an area in the back of the park that is not fenced in. It is full of hiking trails as well as a pond for dogs to hike and swim. Imagine a child in Chuck E. Cheese's and you can picture the thrill that most dogs receive from going to the dog park. Now, the dog park also has rules. These rules include that you must have your dog off leash when inside the fence, you must pick up after your dog, and you may not bring food of any kind into the dog park. To me, all of these rules make logical sense. Throughout my many visits to the dog park, I have determined, however, that I am in the minority in assuming that these things are logical. This brings me to my next (and primary) topic of conversation: the people who visit the dog park.

There are many types of dog owners that visit the dog park with their dogs.
1) The Naive: This person brings his/ her dog to the dog park for a picnic. They come waltzing in with their dog(s) and let their animals loose while they eat the lunch they brought. When the other dogs in the park run over in hopes of obtaining some of the sweet morsels of human food, these humans giggle and laugh. Silly dogs, wanting our food! Naive.
2) The Expert: This person will come in with his or her dogs and immediately begin observing everyone else's animals saying things like, "Oh, your dog is shy. She really needs to get over that. How old is she? Oh, just two. Well, it takes time. She'll be fine in time." Or, "You know, [insert dog breed] are just like that. They love to chew (or growl, or jump...)". This person thinks she knows everything about every dog in the park, despite not having any experience with the vast majority of these dogs. The ironic thing is that these owners usually have some of the worst dogs in the park!
3) The Excuser: This person refuses to accept responsibility for his/her dog or the dog's behavior. When his dog growls at your dog, these people will say, "oh, my dog really doesn't mean any harm." When her dog attacks your dog, this owner will laugh. When his dog pees on you, this owner will say, "Oh my, he's never done that before." When his dog knocks you over, he will say, "Oops. He's just playing." Lastly, when her dog comes in from the pond, runs between your legs, refuses to move, and then steals your water and runs around the park with it, this owner will say, "Yeah, he just loves to do that stuff." In case you were curious, I have never had any of the above happen to me...
4) The Child: While this person is not an actual child, this individual acts like a child. This is the person who sits on the ground and allows your dog to jump on them, lick them, and generally do everything you have taught your dog not to do. When you try to correct your dog against the misbehavior, this person will pet your dog while saying in baby speak, "It's okaaay. Hewo wittle won. Oh, so cuuuttteee!" This is also the person who might call your dog over to continue the misbehavior, "Baywee, come here Baywee...." Ridiculous.
5) The Irresponsible: This person thinks that coming to the dog park is a chance to zone out on the responsibilities of being a dog owner. He or she talks on the phone, texts, chats with friends, and sometimes straight up leaves for a bit. He/ She does not correct his/ her dogs, pick up after his/ her dogs, leash his/ her dogs outside of the fence, or notice his/ her dogs. I don't know why people think they don't need to pay attention to their dogs at the dog park. It's not like you would bring your child to Chuck E. Cheese and then zone out and let them do whatever they want... oh wait...
6) The Responsible Dog Owner: By far the smallest category of human in the dog park, these individuals are welcome sights to see. These are the people who engage their dogs at the park, correct their dogs when their dog either begins to become aggressive or fearful, protects their dog from other aggressive or fearful dogs, picks up after their dog, and generally keeps their dog under control. 

One of my favorite activities to do with Bayley is visit the dog park. I love the dog park. I love the way that Bayley can release so much of her dog energy at the dog park and come home content and peaceful. I love seeing the other dogs romp and play. I love seeing responsible owners play with their dogs. I sure could do without most of the humans at the dog park. Being a natural introvert, I guess that fits with the rest of my life, though.