*Disclaimer: The following story contains information that may be considered graphic and therefore may not be appropriate for viewers with weak stomachs.*
When we were first presented with the idea of adopting Bayley, one of the biggest concerns that my hubby and I had was whether Bayley would be healthy or not. We knew that she had been a stray that had recently been rescued and we were concerned that she might have something lurking inside her that routine shots would not cure. We were told that she had been taken to a vet and had been given her shots, but we knew we'd be taking a chance that she'd have worms. I researched the types of worms dogs can get, causes of these worms, and treatments available for the worms and then we discussed this possibility at length. Essentially what we came to decide is that all worms that a dog might have, with the exception of the heartworm, are easy to kill and not life threatening. The heartworm is life threatening but can also be killed with the right, albeit expensive, medication. Heartworms also, apparently, leave a dog looking rather unhealthy. So, my hubby and I decided that when we went to see Bayley, if she looked healthy, we'd likely be in the clear.
On the day we went to get Bayley, she greeted us at the door and then ran across the coffee table of the house to sit on the couch with us. Yep, this was a healthy looking, active dog. We instantly fell in love with her and brought her home. Over the next 1 1/2 months, we fed Bayley no less than 3 cups of food per day. She weighed 17 pounds when we got her and I thought for sure that 3 cups of food would help her gain weight pretty quickly. The average female beagle weighs between 22-27 pounds and needs 1 cup of food per day. In 6 weeks time, Bayley had not gained any weight, despite eating 3 cups of food per day. She also did these strange things. I frequently observed her drinking water from puddles after it rained. I could not get her to drink out of her water bowl. She insisted on drinking from the puddles. I assumed this was due to her history as a stray. So, the day that she ate the raw hamburger meat I had just brought home from the grocery store, I also assumed this was from being a stray.
And then it happened. One day, about 6 weeks after we got Bayley, I was taking her for an evening walk and when she relieved herself, I saw it. There in her stool was a wriggling little white thing, about the size of a piece of rice. After I overcame the initial, "EEEWWW GROSS!" reaction, I picked up the stool in the puppy poopy picker upper bag that I carry with me when we walk (so as to me a responsible and neighborly pet owner) and I inspected it. I know. Gross. It's sort of like when you're watching a scary movie and you cover your eyes because you know you don't want to see this part, but then you peek anyway because you're just so darn curious you can't help yourself... yeah, it's like that. So, I inspected the poop. And then, naturally, I brought the dog and the poop home for my husband to inspect. Only he refused to inspect the poop. I guess that he'd be the one person in the theater to say, "Yeah right, I'm not watching that!" Logical, really. I think he even said something like, "Are you nuts? I'm not looking at her poop. That's gross."
So, once I dispensed of the poop, I quickly went to the computer to google, "tapeworms in dogs" and found, to my dismay, that a tapeworm can live inside a dog for at least 1 month before you even know it is there. Apparently, the tapeworm only becomes noticeable once it finishes a full life cycle and lays eggs. Yep, the segments that come out in the poop are full of little eggs. Again, Gross. These only come out once in a while, as the tapeworm lays eggs. So, it's possible for a dog to have a tapeworm for many, many months before any human ever notices. I also learned that the treatment for a tapeworm is simple. It only requires 2 pills. One pill is given immediately and one is given in 2 weeks. Apparently, the pill kills the tapeworm and then this worm shrivels and eventually the whole thing comes out in the dog's stool in one long, shriveled up piece. Um... GROSS. From what I read, the length of the tapeworm when it comes out is only a small fraction of the length of the worm when it is inside the dog (you know, cause the pill made it shrivel and all).
The next day, I called the vet and they told me, "Yep, that sounds like a tapeworm. Come on by and get some pills", which I did, of course. We treated Bayley and several months later, this white thing that looked like a piece of string presented itself in her bowel movement. For the record, I had no desire to inspect this one, nor did I. When we treated the tapeworm, Bayley instantly began gaining weight. Today, she eats 1 cup of food per day and weighs in at 25 pounds. She refrains from eating raw hamburger meat but she does still drink from puddles. And come to think of it, the other day she climbed on the table and ate our lunch. Hm. Maybe those strange things she did weren't about the tapeworm after all.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Let's Talk About: Suicide
Well folks, when I started writing this blog, I made a promise that there would be more to it than posts about Bayley. I have decided to incorporate into my posts a discussion series about various topics which are of a more serious nature and are of importance to me. The first topic in the series (as the title describes) is suicide. Given my line of work, I have a lot to say about the topic of suicide including risk factors for suicide, how to talk to someone who might be considering suicide, and what to do after a suicide occurs.
With medical illnesses, we commonly look for "signs and symptoms". With suicide, we look for "risk factors". Risk factors are things that might put someone at a higher risk for suicide. There are several different risk factors for suicide, including acute risk factors (things happening right this moment), chronic risk factors (things that happened in the past that increase the likelihood of suicide), and general risk factors (this is sort of the miscellaneous category). To help people remember the acute risk factors for suicide, some creative men and women came up with a mnemonic: IS PATH WARM. Here is what it stands for:
IS PATH WARM (Acute risk factors)
Ideation: does the individual have ideations of suicide (put simply: Does the person want to die? Does the person want to kill him/herself?)
S: substance use/ abuse: (Is the person using substances excessively? How about more than usual?)
P: purposelessness (Does the person feel like there is a sense of purpose in life?)
A: anxiety/ insomnia (Is the person having difficulty sleeping? Are they feeling anxious?)
T: Trapped (Does the person feel trapped in life or situation?)
H: hopeless (Does the person have any hope that things will get better?)
W:withdrawn (is the person withdrawing from friends or family?
A: Anger (Is the person experiencing more anger than usual? Maybe becoming irritable?)
R: reckless behavior (Is the person engaging in behaviors that would be considered reckless? Like driving too fast, drinking and driving, self injury, etc?)
M: mood swings (Is the person experiencing sudden or drastic mood swings?)
Next, we can look at chronic risk factors for suicide. These include:
1) previous suicide attempts: the likelihood of attempting suicide again increases with each subsequent suicide attempt. Also, the lethality of suicide attempts increases with each attempt.
2) chronic isolation: the less support someone has in life, the more likely he or she is to attempt suicide
3) past abuse: this includes any kind of past abuse, including physical, sexual, and verbal/ emotional as well as neglect. It also includes rape and domestic violence.
4) significant medical illness: chronic pain increases the risk of suicide as does any terminal illness or medical condition that decreases quality of life.
5) poor coping skills
6) low self esteem
7) diagnosable mental illness: this includes depression, anxiety, PTSD, schizophrenia, or any other mental illness. Most frequently, I come across individuals with depression, anxiety, and PTSD from past trauma.
8) family history of mental illness or suicide: people who have had someone close to them commit suicide are more likely to commit suicide.
Some other general risk factors to consider when thinking about suicide include:
1) age: older individuals and teenagers are most likely to attempt suicide
2) sex: men are 3x more likely to complete suicide than women and women are more likely to attempt suicide than men. Men usually use more lethal means to attempt suicide.
3) Bullying: this is significant for children and adolescents. It would appear that bullying significantly increases the risk of suicide in the younger population (just look at the recent news stories of teen suicides...).
4) Change in sleep patterns (sleeping more than usual or less than usual).
5) change in eating patterns (eating more or less than usual)
6) giving away important possessions
7) going from feeling unusually sad to very happy without any significant life changes occurring (sometimes people feel happy once they have resolved to kill themselves).
It is also important to know that people are at greatest risk for suicide when a deep depression begins to lift because they don't want to go back to that dark place. Also, recent losses (including jobs, houses, family members, pets, or the death of a loved one) increases risk of suicide. Middle aged white males are at a higher risk than any other individuals to complete suicide (especially if they have recently had a job loss).
Now that you know the risk factors for suicide, you are ready to have a discussion about suicide with someone. In our society, there are a few topics that are taboo and frightening to discuss. Suicide is one of those topics. We have a hard time talking about death and we have an even more difficult time asking people if they want to die. We think that we might put ideas in people's minds or push them over the edge. I can assure you, this will never happen. Here are some basic guidelines for talking with someone about suicide.
First, start a conversation. Try to understand the person and build some sense of trust. Ask what's bothering them. Comment on the fact that they seem different lately or they seem down or you want to help. Ask if they are okay. As you talk to the person, look for clues that can help you engage in a discussion about suicide. These can include things like, "I just can't go on like this"; "I'm tired"; "I'm done"; "I don't think I can take it"; "I just want to go to sleep"; "I wish this were over"; "I don't know how long I can do this".
As you talk with the person about the pain he or she is feeling, you can gently ask about suicide. It is important to use the words, "suicide", "death", and "kill yourself". You can say something like, "With everything going on, I am wondering if you've been thinking of killing yourself?" or "Are you considering suicide?" If the person says no, help them brainstorm ways to solve the problems they are facing and continue to listen to them. If the person says yes, ask them what is causing them to want to kill themselves. You can also clarify if they want to kill themselves or if they just want to die. Sometimes people think death would be easier and would like to fall prey to a random act of death but they are not thinking of actively taking their own life.
When people are thinking of suicide, they will feel ambivalent. They will be torn between the desire to live and the desire to die. Talking to them about this ambivalence will help the person move from wanting to die to wanting to live. Most of the time, people don't want to die. They just want the pain to stop. It is important to listen to a person express reasons for wanting to die before moving on. People cannot think about safety planning or reasons for wanting to live until they feel heard in their desires to die. I promise you that having them talk about this will decrease their risk rather than increasing it. People just want to be heard and understood!!!! Don't be afraid to have this discussion.
After you've listened to the reasons for wanting to die, ask the person what reasons they have for wanting to live. They might mention family, pets, morality, hope for the future, or fear of going to hell. I personally do not believe that if you kill yourself, you will go to hell, but I never take this reason away from people. Anything that will keep the person alive is acceptable at this point! We've had people stay alive for their goldfish before!
Next, engage the person in a discussion about lethality. Ask them if they have thought about how they would kill themselves? When? Where? With what? (you know, the 5 W's and H from English class). Ask for as many details as they can give you. Much of the time, the first method a person gives you will not be the intended method. It is important to ask, "Have you thought about how you will kill yourself?" and if the person says, "Yes" and tell you a method, follow up with, "Have you thought of any other ways?" until the person says no. The most lethal ways to commit suicide include firearms, hanging, and jumping. Once you have assessed the lethality of the suicidal ideations, you can begin to safety plan with the person. Begin asking him or her to tell someone close to him or her about it, to stay with you so that you can keep them safe until they can get professional help, ask them to give you the item they are considering using to kill themselves (pills, guns, knives, rope, etc). If you do not think you can keep this person safe, talk to them about the need for treatment. You can call 911 and they will respond quickly. You can also go to your nearest ER. There are also a number of crisis hotlines to call. Here is one: 1-800-273-TALK. It is important to get someone who is considering suicide some professional help. The best time to do that is as soon as you begin to feel lost or overwhelmed by what the person is experiencing. Last, once you have helped the individual, help yourself. Talk to someone about your feelings and take some time to debrief from a stressful situation. Then, congratulate yourself for saving a life.
If someone you know or love does commit suicide, there are two very important things for you to do:
1) DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF.
2) Get help for you and your family members (if applicable). There are many support groups for survivors of suicide as well as professionals of all types willing to help you walk through this difficult, confusing, and trying time. It's worth it to seek out someone who can help you walk through the grief and pain. Even those of us that deal with suicide every day need help when a client completes suicide. Needing help to heal is not shameful.
**I realize that I have changed tense many times in this entry (from person to they, etc.) Please excuse this. I find it tedious to write him/her every time!**
With medical illnesses, we commonly look for "signs and symptoms". With suicide, we look for "risk factors". Risk factors are things that might put someone at a higher risk for suicide. There are several different risk factors for suicide, including acute risk factors (things happening right this moment), chronic risk factors (things that happened in the past that increase the likelihood of suicide), and general risk factors (this is sort of the miscellaneous category). To help people remember the acute risk factors for suicide, some creative men and women came up with a mnemonic: IS PATH WARM. Here is what it stands for:
IS PATH WARM (Acute risk factors)
Ideation: does the individual have ideations of suicide (put simply: Does the person want to die? Does the person want to kill him/herself?)
S: substance use/ abuse: (Is the person using substances excessively? How about more than usual?)
P: purposelessness (Does the person feel like there is a sense of purpose in life?)
A: anxiety/ insomnia (Is the person having difficulty sleeping? Are they feeling anxious?)
T: Trapped (Does the person feel trapped in life or situation?)
H: hopeless (Does the person have any hope that things will get better?)
W:withdrawn (is the person withdrawing from friends or family?
A: Anger (Is the person experiencing more anger than usual? Maybe becoming irritable?)
R: reckless behavior (Is the person engaging in behaviors that would be considered reckless? Like driving too fast, drinking and driving, self injury, etc?)
M: mood swings (Is the person experiencing sudden or drastic mood swings?)
Next, we can look at chronic risk factors for suicide. These include:
1) previous suicide attempts: the likelihood of attempting suicide again increases with each subsequent suicide attempt. Also, the lethality of suicide attempts increases with each attempt.
2) chronic isolation: the less support someone has in life, the more likely he or she is to attempt suicide
3) past abuse: this includes any kind of past abuse, including physical, sexual, and verbal/ emotional as well as neglect. It also includes rape and domestic violence.
4) significant medical illness: chronic pain increases the risk of suicide as does any terminal illness or medical condition that decreases quality of life.
5) poor coping skills
6) low self esteem
7) diagnosable mental illness: this includes depression, anxiety, PTSD, schizophrenia, or any other mental illness. Most frequently, I come across individuals with depression, anxiety, and PTSD from past trauma.
8) family history of mental illness or suicide: people who have had someone close to them commit suicide are more likely to commit suicide.
Some other general risk factors to consider when thinking about suicide include:
1) age: older individuals and teenagers are most likely to attempt suicide
2) sex: men are 3x more likely to complete suicide than women and women are more likely to attempt suicide than men. Men usually use more lethal means to attempt suicide.
3) Bullying: this is significant for children and adolescents. It would appear that bullying significantly increases the risk of suicide in the younger population (just look at the recent news stories of teen suicides...).
4) Change in sleep patterns (sleeping more than usual or less than usual).
5) change in eating patterns (eating more or less than usual)
6) giving away important possessions
7) going from feeling unusually sad to very happy without any significant life changes occurring (sometimes people feel happy once they have resolved to kill themselves).
It is also important to know that people are at greatest risk for suicide when a deep depression begins to lift because they don't want to go back to that dark place. Also, recent losses (including jobs, houses, family members, pets, or the death of a loved one) increases risk of suicide. Middle aged white males are at a higher risk than any other individuals to complete suicide (especially if they have recently had a job loss).
Now that you know the risk factors for suicide, you are ready to have a discussion about suicide with someone. In our society, there are a few topics that are taboo and frightening to discuss. Suicide is one of those topics. We have a hard time talking about death and we have an even more difficult time asking people if they want to die. We think that we might put ideas in people's minds or push them over the edge. I can assure you, this will never happen. Here are some basic guidelines for talking with someone about suicide.
First, start a conversation. Try to understand the person and build some sense of trust. Ask what's bothering them. Comment on the fact that they seem different lately or they seem down or you want to help. Ask if they are okay. As you talk to the person, look for clues that can help you engage in a discussion about suicide. These can include things like, "I just can't go on like this"; "I'm tired"; "I'm done"; "I don't think I can take it"; "I just want to go to sleep"; "I wish this were over"; "I don't know how long I can do this".
As you talk with the person about the pain he or she is feeling, you can gently ask about suicide. It is important to use the words, "suicide", "death", and "kill yourself". You can say something like, "With everything going on, I am wondering if you've been thinking of killing yourself?" or "Are you considering suicide?" If the person says no, help them brainstorm ways to solve the problems they are facing and continue to listen to them. If the person says yes, ask them what is causing them to want to kill themselves. You can also clarify if they want to kill themselves or if they just want to die. Sometimes people think death would be easier and would like to fall prey to a random act of death but they are not thinking of actively taking their own life.
When people are thinking of suicide, they will feel ambivalent. They will be torn between the desire to live and the desire to die. Talking to them about this ambivalence will help the person move from wanting to die to wanting to live. Most of the time, people don't want to die. They just want the pain to stop. It is important to listen to a person express reasons for wanting to die before moving on. People cannot think about safety planning or reasons for wanting to live until they feel heard in their desires to die. I promise you that having them talk about this will decrease their risk rather than increasing it. People just want to be heard and understood!!!! Don't be afraid to have this discussion.
After you've listened to the reasons for wanting to die, ask the person what reasons they have for wanting to live. They might mention family, pets, morality, hope for the future, or fear of going to hell. I personally do not believe that if you kill yourself, you will go to hell, but I never take this reason away from people. Anything that will keep the person alive is acceptable at this point! We've had people stay alive for their goldfish before!
Next, engage the person in a discussion about lethality. Ask them if they have thought about how they would kill themselves? When? Where? With what? (you know, the 5 W's and H from English class). Ask for as many details as they can give you. Much of the time, the first method a person gives you will not be the intended method. It is important to ask, "Have you thought about how you will kill yourself?" and if the person says, "Yes" and tell you a method, follow up with, "Have you thought of any other ways?" until the person says no. The most lethal ways to commit suicide include firearms, hanging, and jumping. Once you have assessed the lethality of the suicidal ideations, you can begin to safety plan with the person. Begin asking him or her to tell someone close to him or her about it, to stay with you so that you can keep them safe until they can get professional help, ask them to give you the item they are considering using to kill themselves (pills, guns, knives, rope, etc). If you do not think you can keep this person safe, talk to them about the need for treatment. You can call 911 and they will respond quickly. You can also go to your nearest ER. There are also a number of crisis hotlines to call. Here is one: 1-800-273-TALK. It is important to get someone who is considering suicide some professional help. The best time to do that is as soon as you begin to feel lost or overwhelmed by what the person is experiencing. Last, once you have helped the individual, help yourself. Talk to someone about your feelings and take some time to debrief from a stressful situation. Then, congratulate yourself for saving a life.
If someone you know or love does commit suicide, there are two very important things for you to do:
1) DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF.
2) Get help for you and your family members (if applicable). There are many support groups for survivors of suicide as well as professionals of all types willing to help you walk through this difficult, confusing, and trying time. It's worth it to seek out someone who can help you walk through the grief and pain. Even those of us that deal with suicide every day need help when a client completes suicide. Needing help to heal is not shameful.
**I realize that I have changed tense many times in this entry (from person to they, etc.) Please excuse this. I find it tedious to write him/her every time!**
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
The "Beagle for Bayley" Debacle (part 2)
When we began to search for a "Beagle for Bayley", my hubby and I decided we wanted a beagle that would ultimately be submissive to Bayley because we feared that otherwise, she would just close off again. We discussed looking for beagles at the pound but did not want to have to rehabilitate another dog. We wanted a dog that was already fairly balanced that would help Bayley maintain her playful energy and help her overcome her anxiety. We also considered getting a puppy from a breeder but eventually vetoed this idea for a few reasons: 1) beagles, we quickly learned, are expensive; 2) we did NOT want a puppy.
Realizing that Bayley had come from Craig's List, I decided I'd check it out. At first, I found a gorgeous tricolored beagle that looked almost identical to Bayley. She was a year old and seemed perfect. I attempted to contact the owner and realized that, to my dismay, I had contacted a client. Uh, no.
After much searching, we found another dog that seemed like a great fit. She was also a tricolored beagle who was 2 years old. We set up a meeting and when we got to the house, I realized that I knew these folks too, and not necessarily from anywhere good. (This should have been my first indication to get the heck out of dodge, but excitement blinded me). We brought Bayley to meet this new dog and the two hit it off fabulously! I had never seen Bayley play with another dog as well as she played with this little beagle. They seemed to be a perfect match! We found out that this dog was currently in heat, so we arranged to come pick her up in 2 weeks, once her heat was over.
(Fast forward two weeks): On a Friday night, after I had been out on call all night the previous evening, we once again brought Bayley to see the new dog to ensure that the two will still get along now that this other dog was out of heat. We brough Bayley into the house and the dog and family all ran to greet us. Bayley immediately tucked her tail underneath her and the two stared at each other for a bit before the other dog nonchalantly walked away. Bayley began to explore the house and came upon the new dog's food. Before we knew it, the new dog was between Bayley and the food and was growling at Bayley. Definitely a difference from the first meeting. (this should have been the second clue to leave while we could). My hubby decided to take the new dog for a walk to release some energy and remove the dog from the tension in the house. The new dog apparently had never been on a leash before and fought my hubby throughout the entire walk. (Clue 3, maybe?) Naive and determined, I guess, we decided that this new dog would just need a bit of time to adjust to us so we took her home. My hubby took her and Bayley for a walk together to help them form into a pack and I got the new dog's belongings set up in the house.
The pack then arrived at the house and we introduced the new dog to the kitchen and living room. The new dog immediately found one of Bayley's hoofs and started to chew it. Bayley came near and the new dog growled at her. Not only that, but the new dog (let's call her Killer... yeah, that seems to be a good name), hunched over this hoof, bared her teeth, and got ready to fight. My sweet hubby forced the dog into submission and I removed Bayley. We then removed all food products. Next, it was time for dinner. We got both Killer and Bayley's food out and attempted to place the two bowls on the floor far apart from each other. Killer went to Bayley's food bowl and attempted to bite Bayley while commendering her bowl. Once again, my hubby forced Killer into submission and I removed Bayley. My hubby then spent an hour trying to teach Killer to be submissive to him regarding food. I quarantined myself and Bayley into a back room but I heard many fights in that hour. Killer turned out to be quite the violent, aggressive dog. By this point in time, we'd had the dog for about two hours and I was ready to give her back! My hubby still believed we could work with this dog so we kept trying. Bed time rolled around and we introduced Killer to our room where we had put her bed next to Bayley's. She refused to acknowledge this bed but went into our bathroom. My hubby tried to remove her from the bathroom and she growled, snarled, and attempted to bite him. Another fight ensued and eventually, we got the dog to lie down on the floor. I drifted off to sleep pretty quickly and was too exhausted to get up throughout the night, but I do know that my poor husband was up every hour with Killer training her to lay down instead of wandering the room.
The next morning, we woke up bright and early and let the girls outside. Killer began to bay. She bayed, and bayed, and bayed some more. Fully convinced that she had awakened the entire neighborhood, I went to call her inside. While outside with the dogs, I ran into my neighbors and their new puppy. Secretly, I began to think about how the puppy would make a great playmate for Bayley and I started to wished that we'd met her about 24 hours earlier, thus avoiding this whole fiasco. Eventually, we coaxed Killer inside and noticed that we hadn't really been paying much attention to Bayley. We looked around the house for her and found her curled into the smallest ball she could possibly form and hidden in a far corner of the house. We quickly realized that she had spent most of the time that we'd had Killer in this spot. With no further ado, my husband and I decided to give the dog back. So, I called the previous owner and left a message. As the hours past, I called the owners several more times with no answer. We began to research safe alternatives for giving up a dog on a Saturday afternoon. We were getting desperate; my nerves were shot, my hubby's nerves were shot, and Bayley had retreated back into herself. Killer had completely upended our peaceful, balanced family. Finally, we decided to just drive Killer back to the house she came from and hope someone was there. I gave the owners one final call and got an answer. Praise Jesus! The owner said that she definitely wanted Killer back (I gave her the choice to have the dog back or have us take the dog to a shelter) so we brought Killer over, the owner dumped her back in the yard, and we went home. I anticipated that Bayley would be slightly sad for her new "friend" to be gone, so I released her from her crate thinking she'd go looking for the new dog. Instead, Bayley came out of her crate, jumped on my husband and I, waged her tail and pranced through the house. I considered this to be her way of thanking us for saving her from Killer the demon dog.
(Fast Forward to present day): Once and a while, I look on Craig's list and find Killer listed again. Sometimes, she is said to be 2, other times 3. My husband believes that her owners sell her to unsuspecting families as a way to make money. Meanwhile, Bayley has become best friends with the neighbor's puppy.
Maybe a puppy isn't such a bad idea after all.
Realizing that Bayley had come from Craig's List, I decided I'd check it out. At first, I found a gorgeous tricolored beagle that looked almost identical to Bayley. She was a year old and seemed perfect. I attempted to contact the owner and realized that, to my dismay, I had contacted a client. Uh, no.
After much searching, we found another dog that seemed like a great fit. She was also a tricolored beagle who was 2 years old. We set up a meeting and when we got to the house, I realized that I knew these folks too, and not necessarily from anywhere good. (This should have been my first indication to get the heck out of dodge, but excitement blinded me). We brought Bayley to meet this new dog and the two hit it off fabulously! I had never seen Bayley play with another dog as well as she played with this little beagle. They seemed to be a perfect match! We found out that this dog was currently in heat, so we arranged to come pick her up in 2 weeks, once her heat was over.
(Fast forward two weeks): On a Friday night, after I had been out on call all night the previous evening, we once again brought Bayley to see the new dog to ensure that the two will still get along now that this other dog was out of heat. We brough Bayley into the house and the dog and family all ran to greet us. Bayley immediately tucked her tail underneath her and the two stared at each other for a bit before the other dog nonchalantly walked away. Bayley began to explore the house and came upon the new dog's food. Before we knew it, the new dog was between Bayley and the food and was growling at Bayley. Definitely a difference from the first meeting. (this should have been the second clue to leave while we could). My hubby decided to take the new dog for a walk to release some energy and remove the dog from the tension in the house. The new dog apparently had never been on a leash before and fought my hubby throughout the entire walk. (Clue 3, maybe?) Naive and determined, I guess, we decided that this new dog would just need a bit of time to adjust to us so we took her home. My hubby took her and Bayley for a walk together to help them form into a pack and I got the new dog's belongings set up in the house.
The pack then arrived at the house and we introduced the new dog to the kitchen and living room. The new dog immediately found one of Bayley's hoofs and started to chew it. Bayley came near and the new dog growled at her. Not only that, but the new dog (let's call her Killer... yeah, that seems to be a good name), hunched over this hoof, bared her teeth, and got ready to fight. My sweet hubby forced the dog into submission and I removed Bayley. We then removed all food products. Next, it was time for dinner. We got both Killer and Bayley's food out and attempted to place the two bowls on the floor far apart from each other. Killer went to Bayley's food bowl and attempted to bite Bayley while commendering her bowl. Once again, my hubby forced Killer into submission and I removed Bayley. My hubby then spent an hour trying to teach Killer to be submissive to him regarding food. I quarantined myself and Bayley into a back room but I heard many fights in that hour. Killer turned out to be quite the violent, aggressive dog. By this point in time, we'd had the dog for about two hours and I was ready to give her back! My hubby still believed we could work with this dog so we kept trying. Bed time rolled around and we introduced Killer to our room where we had put her bed next to Bayley's. She refused to acknowledge this bed but went into our bathroom. My hubby tried to remove her from the bathroom and she growled, snarled, and attempted to bite him. Another fight ensued and eventually, we got the dog to lie down on the floor. I drifted off to sleep pretty quickly and was too exhausted to get up throughout the night, but I do know that my poor husband was up every hour with Killer training her to lay down instead of wandering the room.
The next morning, we woke up bright and early and let the girls outside. Killer began to bay. She bayed, and bayed, and bayed some more. Fully convinced that she had awakened the entire neighborhood, I went to call her inside. While outside with the dogs, I ran into my neighbors and their new puppy. Secretly, I began to think about how the puppy would make a great playmate for Bayley and I started to wished that we'd met her about 24 hours earlier, thus avoiding this whole fiasco. Eventually, we coaxed Killer inside and noticed that we hadn't really been paying much attention to Bayley. We looked around the house for her and found her curled into the smallest ball she could possibly form and hidden in a far corner of the house. We quickly realized that she had spent most of the time that we'd had Killer in this spot. With no further ado, my husband and I decided to give the dog back. So, I called the previous owner and left a message. As the hours past, I called the owners several more times with no answer. We began to research safe alternatives for giving up a dog on a Saturday afternoon. We were getting desperate; my nerves were shot, my hubby's nerves were shot, and Bayley had retreated back into herself. Killer had completely upended our peaceful, balanced family. Finally, we decided to just drive Killer back to the house she came from and hope someone was there. I gave the owners one final call and got an answer. Praise Jesus! The owner said that she definitely wanted Killer back (I gave her the choice to have the dog back or have us take the dog to a shelter) so we brought Killer over, the owner dumped her back in the yard, and we went home. I anticipated that Bayley would be slightly sad for her new "friend" to be gone, so I released her from her crate thinking she'd go looking for the new dog. Instead, Bayley came out of her crate, jumped on my husband and I, waged her tail and pranced through the house. I considered this to be her way of thanking us for saving her from Killer the demon dog.
(Fast Forward to present day): Once and a while, I look on Craig's list and find Killer listed again. Sometimes, she is said to be 2, other times 3. My husband believes that her owners sell her to unsuspecting families as a way to make money. Meanwhile, Bayley has become best friends with the neighbor's puppy.
Maybe a puppy isn't such a bad idea after all.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
The "Beagle for Bayley" Debacle (part 1)
I am not sure if many of you know the story of how we acquired Bayley, so I thought I'd share it here. When we got Bayley, I had been wanting a dog for some time. My sweet hubby had told me that once we got a house, we could consider getting a dog. Both of us have always enjoyed beagles and we knew that's the kind of dog we would like to get. However, when Bayley came along, we definitely weren't looking for a dog. We had only been in our house one month when one day at work, a co-worker randomly asked, "Hey, does anyone want a beagle?" I automatically perked up and began to ask some questions. Turned out my coworker had gotten a beagle off of Craig's list the week prior and her daughter was severely allergic. I got the information about Bayley and came home to ask my hubby. After discussing it briefly, we decided we could meet the dog over the coming weekend and decide if she would be a good fit for us. We went to meet Bayley and instantly fell in love with her friendliness and energy. The rest, of course, is history. So, we came home with our newly acquired beagle and began to learn many things about her. For starters, we learned that Bayley was terrified. Apparently, Bayley had an owner that abused her. Then, she was a stray for a time before being found by a family that took her in, got her healthy and then put her on Craig's list. We learned that Bayley would not play, that if we tried to touch her, she cowered, and if we walked toward her, she flinched as if we were going to kick her. We learned that in Bayley's short life (we estimate she was 9 months old when we got her), she had been through 4 owners. We learned that she was terrified of her crate and that she cried and whined any time we put her in there. We learned that Bayley had severe separation anxiety, to which the incident in which she ate our blinds when we left the house for an hour can attest. So, we began to read books by Cesar Milan and we started to watch his show, "The Dog Whisperer". We began puppy rehab. Soon, we had rehabilitated Bayley to respond to us without flinching and to go into her crate on command. She still cried when we left, she still tried to leave with us (including darting out the front door any time we opened it) and she still refused to leave our side when we were home. But most disturbingly, she still wouldn't play. Mostly, Bayley just curled into a little ball and hid in a corner. We'd throw balls, introduce toys, give her treats... the dog wouldn't play.
After about 1 month, we began to notice that Bayley would occasionally approach one of her toys if we weren't looking. Mostly, she still just laid around and tried to anticipate our every move. Slowly, though, with time and patience, she began to play. And then something miraculous happened. This dog became the most energetic, playful creature we had ever seen. It was like we couldn't get her to stop playing. It is hard to believe now that Bayley at one point in time did not play. So, after about 2 months of rehabilitation, we had a playful pup on our hands. The dog hardly laid down. She was just so energetic. And we started to notice something else- we couldn't keep up with her. She never got tired! We'd play with her for what seemed like ages and then she'd still want to play more. So, she started playing by herself. We began to wonder if Bayley was lonely. Beagles are naturally pack animals and Bayley had become quite social at the dog park by this point in time. We began to wonder if maybe Bayley needed a friend: a beagle for her very own.
And thus began the search for the perfect beagle for Bayley.
(To Be Continued...)
After about 1 month, we began to notice that Bayley would occasionally approach one of her toys if we weren't looking. Mostly, she still just laid around and tried to anticipate our every move. Slowly, though, with time and patience, she began to play. And then something miraculous happened. This dog became the most energetic, playful creature we had ever seen. It was like we couldn't get her to stop playing. It is hard to believe now that Bayley at one point in time did not play. So, after about 2 months of rehabilitation, we had a playful pup on our hands. The dog hardly laid down. She was just so energetic. And we started to notice something else- we couldn't keep up with her. She never got tired! We'd play with her for what seemed like ages and then she'd still want to play more. So, she started playing by herself. We began to wonder if Bayley was lonely. Beagles are naturally pack animals and Bayley had become quite social at the dog park by this point in time. We began to wonder if maybe Bayley needed a friend: a beagle for her very own.
And thus began the search for the perfect beagle for Bayley.
(To Be Continued...)
Monday, January 31, 2011
The Dog Park
As I mentioned in my last post, I have a beagle named Bayley. Bayley loves to play. Bayley also loves to track, sniff, and run. Sometimes, Bayley catches a scent when we open our front door and we have to chase her through the neighborhood. In fact, in our first month with Bayley, we did this no less than 4 times. One thing we have learned over the past 10 months with our sweet girl is that if we take her to the dog park once or twice a week, she does a great deal of tracking there and comes home relaxed and content, so we have made it a habit to visit the dog park at least weekly.
Now, for those of you who do not own dogs, let me explain the wonders of the dog park. The dog park is a magical place where dog owners can take their dogs to socialize with other dogs that are similar in size to their pup. The park is a large, fenced in area where owners can let dogs run and play off leash. The particular dog park which I frequent has 3 different fenced in areas: the large dog park, the medium/ small dog park, and the aggressive/ fearful dog park (for those dogs that need time to acclimate to other dogs before being placed with said dogs). The dog park I visit also has an area in the back of the park that is not fenced in. It is full of hiking trails as well as a pond for dogs to hike and swim. Imagine a child in Chuck E. Cheese's and you can picture the thrill that most dogs receive from going to the dog park. Now, the dog park also has rules. These rules include that you must have your dog off leash when inside the fence, you must pick up after your dog, and you may not bring food of any kind into the dog park. To me, all of these rules make logical sense. Throughout my many visits to the dog park, I have determined, however, that I am in the minority in assuming that these things are logical. This brings me to my next (and primary) topic of conversation: the people who visit the dog park.
There are many types of dog owners that visit the dog park with their dogs.
1) The Naive: This person brings his/ her dog to the dog park for a picnic. They come waltzing in with their dog(s) and let their animals loose while they eat the lunch they brought. When the other dogs in the park run over in hopes of obtaining some of the sweet morsels of human food, these humans giggle and laugh. Silly dogs, wanting our food! Naive.
2) The Expert: This person will come in with his or her dogs and immediately begin observing everyone else's animals saying things like, "Oh, your dog is shy. She really needs to get over that. How old is she? Oh, just two. Well, it takes time. She'll be fine in time." Or, "You know, [insert dog breed] are just like that. They love to chew (or growl, or jump...)". This person thinks she knows everything about every dog in the park, despite not having any experience with the vast majority of these dogs. The ironic thing is that these owners usually have some of the worst dogs in the park!
3) The Excuser: This person refuses to accept responsibility for his/her dog or the dog's behavior. When his dog growls at your dog, these people will say, "oh, my dog really doesn't mean any harm." When her dog attacks your dog, this owner will laugh. When his dog pees on you, this owner will say, "Oh my, he's never done that before." When his dog knocks you over, he will say, "Oops. He's just playing." Lastly, when her dog comes in from the pond, runs between your legs, refuses to move, and then steals your water and runs around the park with it, this owner will say, "Yeah, he just loves to do that stuff." In case you were curious, I have never had any of the above happen to me...
4) The Child: While this person is not an actual child, this individual acts like a child. This is the person who sits on the ground and allows your dog to jump on them, lick them, and generally do everything you have taught your dog not to do. When you try to correct your dog against the misbehavior, this person will pet your dog while saying in baby speak, "It's okaaay. Hewo wittle won. Oh, so cuuuttteee!" This is also the person who might call your dog over to continue the misbehavior, "Baywee, come here Baywee...." Ridiculous.
5) The Irresponsible: This person thinks that coming to the dog park is a chance to zone out on the responsibilities of being a dog owner. He or she talks on the phone, texts, chats with friends, and sometimes straight up leaves for a bit. He/ She does not correct his/ her dogs, pick up after his/ her dogs, leash his/ her dogs outside of the fence, or notice his/ her dogs. I don't know why people think they don't need to pay attention to their dogs at the dog park. It's not like you would bring your child to Chuck E. Cheese and then zone out and let them do whatever they want... oh wait...
6) The Responsible Dog Owner: By far the smallest category of human in the dog park, these individuals are welcome sights to see. These are the people who engage their dogs at the park, correct their dogs when their dog either begins to become aggressive or fearful, protects their dog from other aggressive or fearful dogs, picks up after their dog, and generally keeps their dog under control.
One of my favorite activities to do with Bayley is visit the dog park. I love the dog park. I love the way that Bayley can release so much of her dog energy at the dog park and come home content and peaceful. I love seeing the other dogs romp and play. I love seeing responsible owners play with their dogs. I sure could do without most of the humans at the dog park. Being a natural introvert, I guess that fits with the rest of my life, though.
Now, for those of you who do not own dogs, let me explain the wonders of the dog park. The dog park is a magical place where dog owners can take their dogs to socialize with other dogs that are similar in size to their pup. The park is a large, fenced in area where owners can let dogs run and play off leash. The particular dog park which I frequent has 3 different fenced in areas: the large dog park, the medium/ small dog park, and the aggressive/ fearful dog park (for those dogs that need time to acclimate to other dogs before being placed with said dogs). The dog park I visit also has an area in the back of the park that is not fenced in. It is full of hiking trails as well as a pond for dogs to hike and swim. Imagine a child in Chuck E. Cheese's and you can picture the thrill that most dogs receive from going to the dog park. Now, the dog park also has rules. These rules include that you must have your dog off leash when inside the fence, you must pick up after your dog, and you may not bring food of any kind into the dog park. To me, all of these rules make logical sense. Throughout my many visits to the dog park, I have determined, however, that I am in the minority in assuming that these things are logical. This brings me to my next (and primary) topic of conversation: the people who visit the dog park.
There are many types of dog owners that visit the dog park with their dogs.
1) The Naive: This person brings his/ her dog to the dog park for a picnic. They come waltzing in with their dog(s) and let their animals loose while they eat the lunch they brought. When the other dogs in the park run over in hopes of obtaining some of the sweet morsels of human food, these humans giggle and laugh. Silly dogs, wanting our food! Naive.
2) The Expert: This person will come in with his or her dogs and immediately begin observing everyone else's animals saying things like, "Oh, your dog is shy. She really needs to get over that. How old is she? Oh, just two. Well, it takes time. She'll be fine in time." Or, "You know, [insert dog breed] are just like that. They love to chew (or growl, or jump...)". This person thinks she knows everything about every dog in the park, despite not having any experience with the vast majority of these dogs. The ironic thing is that these owners usually have some of the worst dogs in the park!
3) The Excuser: This person refuses to accept responsibility for his/her dog or the dog's behavior. When his dog growls at your dog, these people will say, "oh, my dog really doesn't mean any harm." When her dog attacks your dog, this owner will laugh. When his dog pees on you, this owner will say, "Oh my, he's never done that before." When his dog knocks you over, he will say, "Oops. He's just playing." Lastly, when her dog comes in from the pond, runs between your legs, refuses to move, and then steals your water and runs around the park with it, this owner will say, "Yeah, he just loves to do that stuff." In case you were curious, I have never had any of the above happen to me...
4) The Child: While this person is not an actual child, this individual acts like a child. This is the person who sits on the ground and allows your dog to jump on them, lick them, and generally do everything you have taught your dog not to do. When you try to correct your dog against the misbehavior, this person will pet your dog while saying in baby speak, "It's okaaay. Hewo wittle won. Oh, so cuuuttteee!" This is also the person who might call your dog over to continue the misbehavior, "Baywee, come here Baywee...." Ridiculous.
5) The Irresponsible: This person thinks that coming to the dog park is a chance to zone out on the responsibilities of being a dog owner. He or she talks on the phone, texts, chats with friends, and sometimes straight up leaves for a bit. He/ She does not correct his/ her dogs, pick up after his/ her dogs, leash his/ her dogs outside of the fence, or notice his/ her dogs. I don't know why people think they don't need to pay attention to their dogs at the dog park. It's not like you would bring your child to Chuck E. Cheese and then zone out and let them do whatever they want... oh wait...
6) The Responsible Dog Owner: By far the smallest category of human in the dog park, these individuals are welcome sights to see. These are the people who engage their dogs at the park, correct their dogs when their dog either begins to become aggressive or fearful, protects their dog from other aggressive or fearful dogs, picks up after their dog, and generally keeps their dog under control.
One of my favorite activities to do with Bayley is visit the dog park. I love the dog park. I love the way that Bayley can release so much of her dog energy at the dog park and come home content and peaceful. I love seeing the other dogs romp and play. I love seeing responsible owners play with their dogs. I sure could do without most of the humans at the dog park. Being a natural introvert, I guess that fits with the rest of my life, though.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
The Inaugural Post
As many of you know, I tend to be behind the times when it comes to social media outlets. I didn't join Facebook until the friend I thought would never join actually did. I still haven't graced the world of Twitter with my presence. And so, in much the same way, it is only after many of my friends and acquaintances have begun blogging (specifically at blogspot, because let's face it, Xanga is so 5 years ago) that I have decided to make a blog of my very own.
Now, I have a few different reasons for creating a blog. For one, I have always enjoyed writing and in recent years have found that I have no good outlet for my love of writing. Secondly, being the naturally passionate individual that I am, I have a lot to say. Though I may be biased, I also think I have something to contribute with the things I have to say (you may decide otherwise, and I am okay with this). I have fleetingly considered creating a blog for some time, but the horse finally left the gate last night when I was at the dog park with my beautiful beagle, Bayley. While talking to another beagle owner, he mentioned to me, "I wish they had a beagle support group". We discussed the need for beagle owners everywhere to have the support of fellow beaglers to form search parties when our beagles take off after a scent leaving us far behind as well as the need for validation when our dogs eat... well... everything. I have thought for some time that I would like a beagle support group and have gone in search of blogs of this sort, but to my dismay, have found none. My neighbors have a Vizsla and they are always telling us about the blogs they read that lend them validation when their adorable pup eats dirt, or poop, or used contraceptives at the dog park. Last night I decided that since there are no blogs for beagle owners, I'd just have to make one myself. Then, shortly thereafter, I found myself to be quite annoyed by many of the other dog owners at the dog park and their silly antics (this will be a later post) and decided that having a place to share my thoughts on matters such as these would be well worth it. And thus, the blog was born. (However, lest you be misled and think I will only blog about my experiences as a beagle owner, rest assured that this is not the case).
I guess that since this is the Inaugural Post, I would be remiss if I did not address the name of the blog. After all, the most difficult part of creating a blog is thinking of a clever name. I confess that I spent several hours last night thinking about clever names. I finally settled on "Dancin' in the Minefield" after a song I recently heard on the radio. The song is about life and marriage being similar to dancing in a minefield. I enjoy this analogy first because I love dancing and second because I think that conflict and hardships arise in life at the most unpredictable times similarly to what would happen if you were actually dancing through a minefield. And yet, the title also implies that even though you are in a minefield, there is joy. So, there you have it: Dancin' in the Minefield. I look forward to seeing where this takes us.
Now, I have a few different reasons for creating a blog. For one, I have always enjoyed writing and in recent years have found that I have no good outlet for my love of writing. Secondly, being the naturally passionate individual that I am, I have a lot to say. Though I may be biased, I also think I have something to contribute with the things I have to say (you may decide otherwise, and I am okay with this). I have fleetingly considered creating a blog for some time, but the horse finally left the gate last night when I was at the dog park with my beautiful beagle, Bayley. While talking to another beagle owner, he mentioned to me, "I wish they had a beagle support group". We discussed the need for beagle owners everywhere to have the support of fellow beaglers to form search parties when our beagles take off after a scent leaving us far behind as well as the need for validation when our dogs eat... well... everything. I have thought for some time that I would like a beagle support group and have gone in search of blogs of this sort, but to my dismay, have found none. My neighbors have a Vizsla and they are always telling us about the blogs they read that lend them validation when their adorable pup eats dirt, or poop, or used contraceptives at the dog park. Last night I decided that since there are no blogs for beagle owners, I'd just have to make one myself. Then, shortly thereafter, I found myself to be quite annoyed by many of the other dog owners at the dog park and their silly antics (this will be a later post) and decided that having a place to share my thoughts on matters such as these would be well worth it. And thus, the blog was born. (However, lest you be misled and think I will only blog about my experiences as a beagle owner, rest assured that this is not the case).
I guess that since this is the Inaugural Post, I would be remiss if I did not address the name of the blog. After all, the most difficult part of creating a blog is thinking of a clever name. I confess that I spent several hours last night thinking about clever names. I finally settled on "Dancin' in the Minefield" after a song I recently heard on the radio. The song is about life and marriage being similar to dancing in a minefield. I enjoy this analogy first because I love dancing and second because I think that conflict and hardships arise in life at the most unpredictable times similarly to what would happen if you were actually dancing through a minefield. And yet, the title also implies that even though you are in a minefield, there is joy. So, there you have it: Dancin' in the Minefield. I look forward to seeing where this takes us.
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