I don't like cats. I know this is shocking. Actually, I really love the big, big cats. The ones that eat you. Or at least they could eat you if they desired. I like those cats. From a distance. Not up close. Never up close. But, the little cats, the ones that stay inside your house and generally ignore you until it's convenient for them to be your friend- I don't like those cats. For one, they climb up on everything. And secondly, they catch mice and bring them to you as if they've brought you the best present ever. Also, they do their business in a box that ends up stinking up the joint. And, they are moody. Some cats are like dogs. They are cuddly, sweet, and playful. These cats, I truly enjoy. This is why I have a dog. Dogs are playful and sweet and cuddly and they want to hang out with you. Dogs don't bring in dead vermin and they don't climb on everything in sight.
At least that's what I thought was true of dogs. Then, we got Bayley. Bayley is one of those dogs that thinks she's a cat. She has many dog traits: she cuddles (when she wants to), she plays, and she does her business outside. But, she also does many cat like things. She climbs on tables- all of them, not just some of them. She climbs into the window sills as well. If I put the blinds up, she'll stand in the window sill and look outside. She even climbs on the bricks outside that stick out at the bottom of the window. She chases bugs and she has moments of moodiness.
But, the worst, most cat like thing Bayley ever did happened one morning when I let her outside. She found something truly wonderful and delicious and began playing with it. Bayley loves to eat bark. So, when she came to the door, tail wagging and eyes filled with delight, I assumed she had found a piece of bark that made her day. I opened the door saying, 'hey girl, what did you find?" and then immediately shrieked and slammed the door in my poor dog's face. Much to my dismay, Bayley had a full grown grasshopper in her mouth which she was completely intending to bring inside. I told her to leave that nasty thing outside, so she put it down and sat at the door calmly. I opened the door again and she ran to retrieve her prize and carry it into the house. Only, much to her chagrain, she found the door once again slammed in her face. I began to lecture her through the door as if she could understand me, "you are not bringing that thing in my house. Forget it!" Finally, dejected and sorrowful, Bayley came inside leaving the grasshopper on the porch.
Later in the day, we let Bayley out again. She found her delightful toy and began to play with it. Then, as I stood there watching, things went from bad to worse when she ate that dreaded grasshopper. Yep, she ate it. Legs and wings and all. Gross. Pleased as punch, the dog came back inside and immediately proceeded to burp. Guess it was a tasty meal. All I know is that I did not let that creature's mouth anywhere near me for the next several days. Grasshopper cooties... yuck!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
A Day in the Life
One of the best conversation topics of all time is the topic of work and career choice. Usually, people will ask me what I do for a living and I answer, "I am a crisis counselor". Then follows the blank stare, awkward silence, and finally... "Oh. Cool?" After the awkward wears off, the conversation most frequently turns to questions about what my job actually entails. Today, I have decided to answer this question for my small but loyal following of readers.
I am a crisis counselor. This means I work with individuals who are in a crisis situation. The broad definition of crisis services from which I usually work is that I assist any individual who is suicidal, homicidal, or psychotic in some way. Generally, we also help people who are depressed and thinking of dying a passive death but not actively killing themselves. And, we help people who are experiencing anger to the point of aggressive behaviors that could harm someone but that are not homicidal. In the realm of psychotic, we help anyone who believes they are Jesus, believes they are on a mission from Jesus, believes the FBI is watching them, disrobes in public thinking it's okay, thinks aliens are after them, hears "the voices", believes a sniper is at the window, defecates in inapproriate places, believes they are being poisoned, thinks others can hear their thoughts, or generally does not make sense but thinks he or she does. Some of the most common things I see that contribute to the above crises are trauma resulting in depression, anxiety, and thoughts of death (i.e. PTSD), domestic violence or abusive relationships, general relational difficulties, substance use, sexual assault or past abuse, grief, and unmedicated mental illness including depression, Bipolar, and Schizoprenia.
I become involved with an individual because I get a phone call asking for a psychiatric evaluation on someone who has presented to law enforcement or medical staff either at a private residence, a hospital, a jail, a school, or some other location with one of the above concerns. Once I get called, I go with a partner to the scene and assess the individual for threat of harm to self or others including thoughts of suicide, passive thoughts of death, past suicide attempts, thoughts of homicide, self harm, aggression to others, and psychosis. Once we complete our assessment, we determine one of two things: does this person need inpatient treatment at a psychiatric facility or can they remain safe enough to engage in outpatient treatment.
If we determine that someone needs inpatient treatment, we further assess several things. The first thing we ask is if this person is agreeable to signing him or herself into the hospital. We then determine if the person is oriented enough (knows who he or she is, what date it is, what the situation is, and where he or she is) to sign him or herself in to the hospital. If the answer to both of these questions is yes, we facilitate the client getting to and signing in to a mental health hospital. If one of the above answers is no, we seek an involuntary commitment to the hospital.
In order to involuntarily commit someone to the hospital, we contact another authority, namely our mental health deputies. These folks are part of the sheriff's office and have the right to take someone into protective custody if the person is in immediate danger to self or others. The deputy completes an assessment and either takes the client to the hospital or determines the client can remain safe on an outpatient basis. If the deputy decides for the hospital, the client attends a court hearing the next day to determine length of hospital stay. If the deputy refuses to take the client to the hospital, we work on safety planning for outpatient services.
Now, if we decide on outpatient services, we typically look for a number of things. First, we determine if the person has any social support to help keep him or her safe. Second, we explore if the client is willing to participate in treatment to begin to improve in condition. We also aid the client in developing a safety plan including coping skills as well as removing access to anything the person can use to harm self or others.
If we recommend outpatient for an individual, then they can receive counseling services and medication as well as case management services to increase community supports for the person. If they want counseling services, then either myself or one of the other counselors on staff begins to work with them in counseling. We each have 2 days of the week set aside for counseling clients and the other 3 days of the week are set aside to do psychiatric assessments. We do not counsel psychotic individuals cause, well, it's not terribly effective.
And that, in a brief nutshell, is what I do for a living.
I am a crisis counselor. This means I work with individuals who are in a crisis situation. The broad definition of crisis services from which I usually work is that I assist any individual who is suicidal, homicidal, or psychotic in some way. Generally, we also help people who are depressed and thinking of dying a passive death but not actively killing themselves. And, we help people who are experiencing anger to the point of aggressive behaviors that could harm someone but that are not homicidal. In the realm of psychotic, we help anyone who believes they are Jesus, believes they are on a mission from Jesus, believes the FBI is watching them, disrobes in public thinking it's okay, thinks aliens are after them, hears "the voices", believes a sniper is at the window, defecates in inapproriate places, believes they are being poisoned, thinks others can hear their thoughts, or generally does not make sense but thinks he or she does. Some of the most common things I see that contribute to the above crises are trauma resulting in depression, anxiety, and thoughts of death (i.e. PTSD), domestic violence or abusive relationships, general relational difficulties, substance use, sexual assault or past abuse, grief, and unmedicated mental illness including depression, Bipolar, and Schizoprenia.
I become involved with an individual because I get a phone call asking for a psychiatric evaluation on someone who has presented to law enforcement or medical staff either at a private residence, a hospital, a jail, a school, or some other location with one of the above concerns. Once I get called, I go with a partner to the scene and assess the individual for threat of harm to self or others including thoughts of suicide, passive thoughts of death, past suicide attempts, thoughts of homicide, self harm, aggression to others, and psychosis. Once we complete our assessment, we determine one of two things: does this person need inpatient treatment at a psychiatric facility or can they remain safe enough to engage in outpatient treatment.
If we determine that someone needs inpatient treatment, we further assess several things. The first thing we ask is if this person is agreeable to signing him or herself into the hospital. We then determine if the person is oriented enough (knows who he or she is, what date it is, what the situation is, and where he or she is) to sign him or herself in to the hospital. If the answer to both of these questions is yes, we facilitate the client getting to and signing in to a mental health hospital. If one of the above answers is no, we seek an involuntary commitment to the hospital.
In order to involuntarily commit someone to the hospital, we contact another authority, namely our mental health deputies. These folks are part of the sheriff's office and have the right to take someone into protective custody if the person is in immediate danger to self or others. The deputy completes an assessment and either takes the client to the hospital or determines the client can remain safe on an outpatient basis. If the deputy decides for the hospital, the client attends a court hearing the next day to determine length of hospital stay. If the deputy refuses to take the client to the hospital, we work on safety planning for outpatient services.
Now, if we decide on outpatient services, we typically look for a number of things. First, we determine if the person has any social support to help keep him or her safe. Second, we explore if the client is willing to participate in treatment to begin to improve in condition. We also aid the client in developing a safety plan including coping skills as well as removing access to anything the person can use to harm self or others.
If we recommend outpatient for an individual, then they can receive counseling services and medication as well as case management services to increase community supports for the person. If they want counseling services, then either myself or one of the other counselors on staff begins to work with them in counseling. We each have 2 days of the week set aside for counseling clients and the other 3 days of the week are set aside to do psychiatric assessments. We do not counsel psychotic individuals cause, well, it's not terribly effective.
And that, in a brief nutshell, is what I do for a living.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Bayley's Misadventure with a Tapeworm
*Disclaimer: The following story contains information that may be considered graphic and therefore may not be appropriate for viewers with weak stomachs.*
When we were first presented with the idea of adopting Bayley, one of the biggest concerns that my hubby and I had was whether Bayley would be healthy or not. We knew that she had been a stray that had recently been rescued and we were concerned that she might have something lurking inside her that routine shots would not cure. We were told that she had been taken to a vet and had been given her shots, but we knew we'd be taking a chance that she'd have worms. I researched the types of worms dogs can get, causes of these worms, and treatments available for the worms and then we discussed this possibility at length. Essentially what we came to decide is that all worms that a dog might have, with the exception of the heartworm, are easy to kill and not life threatening. The heartworm is life threatening but can also be killed with the right, albeit expensive, medication. Heartworms also, apparently, leave a dog looking rather unhealthy. So, my hubby and I decided that when we went to see Bayley, if she looked healthy, we'd likely be in the clear.
On the day we went to get Bayley, she greeted us at the door and then ran across the coffee table of the house to sit on the couch with us. Yep, this was a healthy looking, active dog. We instantly fell in love with her and brought her home. Over the next 1 1/2 months, we fed Bayley no less than 3 cups of food per day. She weighed 17 pounds when we got her and I thought for sure that 3 cups of food would help her gain weight pretty quickly. The average female beagle weighs between 22-27 pounds and needs 1 cup of food per day. In 6 weeks time, Bayley had not gained any weight, despite eating 3 cups of food per day. She also did these strange things. I frequently observed her drinking water from puddles after it rained. I could not get her to drink out of her water bowl. She insisted on drinking from the puddles. I assumed this was due to her history as a stray. So, the day that she ate the raw hamburger meat I had just brought home from the grocery store, I also assumed this was from being a stray.
And then it happened. One day, about 6 weeks after we got Bayley, I was taking her for an evening walk and when she relieved herself, I saw it. There in her stool was a wriggling little white thing, about the size of a piece of rice. After I overcame the initial, "EEEWWW GROSS!" reaction, I picked up the stool in the puppy poopy picker upper bag that I carry with me when we walk (so as to me a responsible and neighborly pet owner) and I inspected it. I know. Gross. It's sort of like when you're watching a scary movie and you cover your eyes because you know you don't want to see this part, but then you peek anyway because you're just so darn curious you can't help yourself... yeah, it's like that. So, I inspected the poop. And then, naturally, I brought the dog and the poop home for my husband to inspect. Only he refused to inspect the poop. I guess that he'd be the one person in the theater to say, "Yeah right, I'm not watching that!" Logical, really. I think he even said something like, "Are you nuts? I'm not looking at her poop. That's gross."
So, once I dispensed of the poop, I quickly went to the computer to google, "tapeworms in dogs" and found, to my dismay, that a tapeworm can live inside a dog for at least 1 month before you even know it is there. Apparently, the tapeworm only becomes noticeable once it finishes a full life cycle and lays eggs. Yep, the segments that come out in the poop are full of little eggs. Again, Gross. These only come out once in a while, as the tapeworm lays eggs. So, it's possible for a dog to have a tapeworm for many, many months before any human ever notices. I also learned that the treatment for a tapeworm is simple. It only requires 2 pills. One pill is given immediately and one is given in 2 weeks. Apparently, the pill kills the tapeworm and then this worm shrivels and eventually the whole thing comes out in the dog's stool in one long, shriveled up piece. Um... GROSS. From what I read, the length of the tapeworm when it comes out is only a small fraction of the length of the worm when it is inside the dog (you know, cause the pill made it shrivel and all).
The next day, I called the vet and they told me, "Yep, that sounds like a tapeworm. Come on by and get some pills", which I did, of course. We treated Bayley and several months later, this white thing that looked like a piece of string presented itself in her bowel movement. For the record, I had no desire to inspect this one, nor did I. When we treated the tapeworm, Bayley instantly began gaining weight. Today, she eats 1 cup of food per day and weighs in at 25 pounds. She refrains from eating raw hamburger meat but she does still drink from puddles. And come to think of it, the other day she climbed on the table and ate our lunch. Hm. Maybe those strange things she did weren't about the tapeworm after all.
When we were first presented with the idea of adopting Bayley, one of the biggest concerns that my hubby and I had was whether Bayley would be healthy or not. We knew that she had been a stray that had recently been rescued and we were concerned that she might have something lurking inside her that routine shots would not cure. We were told that she had been taken to a vet and had been given her shots, but we knew we'd be taking a chance that she'd have worms. I researched the types of worms dogs can get, causes of these worms, and treatments available for the worms and then we discussed this possibility at length. Essentially what we came to decide is that all worms that a dog might have, with the exception of the heartworm, are easy to kill and not life threatening. The heartworm is life threatening but can also be killed with the right, albeit expensive, medication. Heartworms also, apparently, leave a dog looking rather unhealthy. So, my hubby and I decided that when we went to see Bayley, if she looked healthy, we'd likely be in the clear.
On the day we went to get Bayley, she greeted us at the door and then ran across the coffee table of the house to sit on the couch with us. Yep, this was a healthy looking, active dog. We instantly fell in love with her and brought her home. Over the next 1 1/2 months, we fed Bayley no less than 3 cups of food per day. She weighed 17 pounds when we got her and I thought for sure that 3 cups of food would help her gain weight pretty quickly. The average female beagle weighs between 22-27 pounds and needs 1 cup of food per day. In 6 weeks time, Bayley had not gained any weight, despite eating 3 cups of food per day. She also did these strange things. I frequently observed her drinking water from puddles after it rained. I could not get her to drink out of her water bowl. She insisted on drinking from the puddles. I assumed this was due to her history as a stray. So, the day that she ate the raw hamburger meat I had just brought home from the grocery store, I also assumed this was from being a stray.
And then it happened. One day, about 6 weeks after we got Bayley, I was taking her for an evening walk and when she relieved herself, I saw it. There in her stool was a wriggling little white thing, about the size of a piece of rice. After I overcame the initial, "EEEWWW GROSS!" reaction, I picked up the stool in the puppy poopy picker upper bag that I carry with me when we walk (so as to me a responsible and neighborly pet owner) and I inspected it. I know. Gross. It's sort of like when you're watching a scary movie and you cover your eyes because you know you don't want to see this part, but then you peek anyway because you're just so darn curious you can't help yourself... yeah, it's like that. So, I inspected the poop. And then, naturally, I brought the dog and the poop home for my husband to inspect. Only he refused to inspect the poop. I guess that he'd be the one person in the theater to say, "Yeah right, I'm not watching that!" Logical, really. I think he even said something like, "Are you nuts? I'm not looking at her poop. That's gross."
So, once I dispensed of the poop, I quickly went to the computer to google, "tapeworms in dogs" and found, to my dismay, that a tapeworm can live inside a dog for at least 1 month before you even know it is there. Apparently, the tapeworm only becomes noticeable once it finishes a full life cycle and lays eggs. Yep, the segments that come out in the poop are full of little eggs. Again, Gross. These only come out once in a while, as the tapeworm lays eggs. So, it's possible for a dog to have a tapeworm for many, many months before any human ever notices. I also learned that the treatment for a tapeworm is simple. It only requires 2 pills. One pill is given immediately and one is given in 2 weeks. Apparently, the pill kills the tapeworm and then this worm shrivels and eventually the whole thing comes out in the dog's stool in one long, shriveled up piece. Um... GROSS. From what I read, the length of the tapeworm when it comes out is only a small fraction of the length of the worm when it is inside the dog (you know, cause the pill made it shrivel and all).
The next day, I called the vet and they told me, "Yep, that sounds like a tapeworm. Come on by and get some pills", which I did, of course. We treated Bayley and several months later, this white thing that looked like a piece of string presented itself in her bowel movement. For the record, I had no desire to inspect this one, nor did I. When we treated the tapeworm, Bayley instantly began gaining weight. Today, she eats 1 cup of food per day and weighs in at 25 pounds. She refrains from eating raw hamburger meat but she does still drink from puddles. And come to think of it, the other day she climbed on the table and ate our lunch. Hm. Maybe those strange things she did weren't about the tapeworm after all.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Let's Talk About: Suicide
Well folks, when I started writing this blog, I made a promise that there would be more to it than posts about Bayley. I have decided to incorporate into my posts a discussion series about various topics which are of a more serious nature and are of importance to me. The first topic in the series (as the title describes) is suicide. Given my line of work, I have a lot to say about the topic of suicide including risk factors for suicide, how to talk to someone who might be considering suicide, and what to do after a suicide occurs.
With medical illnesses, we commonly look for "signs and symptoms". With suicide, we look for "risk factors". Risk factors are things that might put someone at a higher risk for suicide. There are several different risk factors for suicide, including acute risk factors (things happening right this moment), chronic risk factors (things that happened in the past that increase the likelihood of suicide), and general risk factors (this is sort of the miscellaneous category). To help people remember the acute risk factors for suicide, some creative men and women came up with a mnemonic: IS PATH WARM. Here is what it stands for:
IS PATH WARM (Acute risk factors)
Ideation: does the individual have ideations of suicide (put simply: Does the person want to die? Does the person want to kill him/herself?)
S: substance use/ abuse: (Is the person using substances excessively? How about more than usual?)
P: purposelessness (Does the person feel like there is a sense of purpose in life?)
A: anxiety/ insomnia (Is the person having difficulty sleeping? Are they feeling anxious?)
T: Trapped (Does the person feel trapped in life or situation?)
H: hopeless (Does the person have any hope that things will get better?)
W:withdrawn (is the person withdrawing from friends or family?
A: Anger (Is the person experiencing more anger than usual? Maybe becoming irritable?)
R: reckless behavior (Is the person engaging in behaviors that would be considered reckless? Like driving too fast, drinking and driving, self injury, etc?)
M: mood swings (Is the person experiencing sudden or drastic mood swings?)
Next, we can look at chronic risk factors for suicide. These include:
1) previous suicide attempts: the likelihood of attempting suicide again increases with each subsequent suicide attempt. Also, the lethality of suicide attempts increases with each attempt.
2) chronic isolation: the less support someone has in life, the more likely he or she is to attempt suicide
3) past abuse: this includes any kind of past abuse, including physical, sexual, and verbal/ emotional as well as neglect. It also includes rape and domestic violence.
4) significant medical illness: chronic pain increases the risk of suicide as does any terminal illness or medical condition that decreases quality of life.
5) poor coping skills
6) low self esteem
7) diagnosable mental illness: this includes depression, anxiety, PTSD, schizophrenia, or any other mental illness. Most frequently, I come across individuals with depression, anxiety, and PTSD from past trauma.
8) family history of mental illness or suicide: people who have had someone close to them commit suicide are more likely to commit suicide.
Some other general risk factors to consider when thinking about suicide include:
1) age: older individuals and teenagers are most likely to attempt suicide
2) sex: men are 3x more likely to complete suicide than women and women are more likely to attempt suicide than men. Men usually use more lethal means to attempt suicide.
3) Bullying: this is significant for children and adolescents. It would appear that bullying significantly increases the risk of suicide in the younger population (just look at the recent news stories of teen suicides...).
4) Change in sleep patterns (sleeping more than usual or less than usual).
5) change in eating patterns (eating more or less than usual)
6) giving away important possessions
7) going from feeling unusually sad to very happy without any significant life changes occurring (sometimes people feel happy once they have resolved to kill themselves).
It is also important to know that people are at greatest risk for suicide when a deep depression begins to lift because they don't want to go back to that dark place. Also, recent losses (including jobs, houses, family members, pets, or the death of a loved one) increases risk of suicide. Middle aged white males are at a higher risk than any other individuals to complete suicide (especially if they have recently had a job loss).
Now that you know the risk factors for suicide, you are ready to have a discussion about suicide with someone. In our society, there are a few topics that are taboo and frightening to discuss. Suicide is one of those topics. We have a hard time talking about death and we have an even more difficult time asking people if they want to die. We think that we might put ideas in people's minds or push them over the edge. I can assure you, this will never happen. Here are some basic guidelines for talking with someone about suicide.
First, start a conversation. Try to understand the person and build some sense of trust. Ask what's bothering them. Comment on the fact that they seem different lately or they seem down or you want to help. Ask if they are okay. As you talk to the person, look for clues that can help you engage in a discussion about suicide. These can include things like, "I just can't go on like this"; "I'm tired"; "I'm done"; "I don't think I can take it"; "I just want to go to sleep"; "I wish this were over"; "I don't know how long I can do this".
As you talk with the person about the pain he or she is feeling, you can gently ask about suicide. It is important to use the words, "suicide", "death", and "kill yourself". You can say something like, "With everything going on, I am wondering if you've been thinking of killing yourself?" or "Are you considering suicide?" If the person says no, help them brainstorm ways to solve the problems they are facing and continue to listen to them. If the person says yes, ask them what is causing them to want to kill themselves. You can also clarify if they want to kill themselves or if they just want to die. Sometimes people think death would be easier and would like to fall prey to a random act of death but they are not thinking of actively taking their own life.
When people are thinking of suicide, they will feel ambivalent. They will be torn between the desire to live and the desire to die. Talking to them about this ambivalence will help the person move from wanting to die to wanting to live. Most of the time, people don't want to die. They just want the pain to stop. It is important to listen to a person express reasons for wanting to die before moving on. People cannot think about safety planning or reasons for wanting to live until they feel heard in their desires to die. I promise you that having them talk about this will decrease their risk rather than increasing it. People just want to be heard and understood!!!! Don't be afraid to have this discussion.
After you've listened to the reasons for wanting to die, ask the person what reasons they have for wanting to live. They might mention family, pets, morality, hope for the future, or fear of going to hell. I personally do not believe that if you kill yourself, you will go to hell, but I never take this reason away from people. Anything that will keep the person alive is acceptable at this point! We've had people stay alive for their goldfish before!
Next, engage the person in a discussion about lethality. Ask them if they have thought about how they would kill themselves? When? Where? With what? (you know, the 5 W's and H from English class). Ask for as many details as they can give you. Much of the time, the first method a person gives you will not be the intended method. It is important to ask, "Have you thought about how you will kill yourself?" and if the person says, "Yes" and tell you a method, follow up with, "Have you thought of any other ways?" until the person says no. The most lethal ways to commit suicide include firearms, hanging, and jumping. Once you have assessed the lethality of the suicidal ideations, you can begin to safety plan with the person. Begin asking him or her to tell someone close to him or her about it, to stay with you so that you can keep them safe until they can get professional help, ask them to give you the item they are considering using to kill themselves (pills, guns, knives, rope, etc). If you do not think you can keep this person safe, talk to them about the need for treatment. You can call 911 and they will respond quickly. You can also go to your nearest ER. There are also a number of crisis hotlines to call. Here is one: 1-800-273-TALK. It is important to get someone who is considering suicide some professional help. The best time to do that is as soon as you begin to feel lost or overwhelmed by what the person is experiencing. Last, once you have helped the individual, help yourself. Talk to someone about your feelings and take some time to debrief from a stressful situation. Then, congratulate yourself for saving a life.
If someone you know or love does commit suicide, there are two very important things for you to do:
1) DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF.
2) Get help for you and your family members (if applicable). There are many support groups for survivors of suicide as well as professionals of all types willing to help you walk through this difficult, confusing, and trying time. It's worth it to seek out someone who can help you walk through the grief and pain. Even those of us that deal with suicide every day need help when a client completes suicide. Needing help to heal is not shameful.
**I realize that I have changed tense many times in this entry (from person to they, etc.) Please excuse this. I find it tedious to write him/her every time!**
With medical illnesses, we commonly look for "signs and symptoms". With suicide, we look for "risk factors". Risk factors are things that might put someone at a higher risk for suicide. There are several different risk factors for suicide, including acute risk factors (things happening right this moment), chronic risk factors (things that happened in the past that increase the likelihood of suicide), and general risk factors (this is sort of the miscellaneous category). To help people remember the acute risk factors for suicide, some creative men and women came up with a mnemonic: IS PATH WARM. Here is what it stands for:
IS PATH WARM (Acute risk factors)
Ideation: does the individual have ideations of suicide (put simply: Does the person want to die? Does the person want to kill him/herself?)
S: substance use/ abuse: (Is the person using substances excessively? How about more than usual?)
P: purposelessness (Does the person feel like there is a sense of purpose in life?)
A: anxiety/ insomnia (Is the person having difficulty sleeping? Are they feeling anxious?)
T: Trapped (Does the person feel trapped in life or situation?)
H: hopeless (Does the person have any hope that things will get better?)
W:withdrawn (is the person withdrawing from friends or family?
A: Anger (Is the person experiencing more anger than usual? Maybe becoming irritable?)
R: reckless behavior (Is the person engaging in behaviors that would be considered reckless? Like driving too fast, drinking and driving, self injury, etc?)
M: mood swings (Is the person experiencing sudden or drastic mood swings?)
Next, we can look at chronic risk factors for suicide. These include:
1) previous suicide attempts: the likelihood of attempting suicide again increases with each subsequent suicide attempt. Also, the lethality of suicide attempts increases with each attempt.
2) chronic isolation: the less support someone has in life, the more likely he or she is to attempt suicide
3) past abuse: this includes any kind of past abuse, including physical, sexual, and verbal/ emotional as well as neglect. It also includes rape and domestic violence.
4) significant medical illness: chronic pain increases the risk of suicide as does any terminal illness or medical condition that decreases quality of life.
5) poor coping skills
6) low self esteem
7) diagnosable mental illness: this includes depression, anxiety, PTSD, schizophrenia, or any other mental illness. Most frequently, I come across individuals with depression, anxiety, and PTSD from past trauma.
8) family history of mental illness or suicide: people who have had someone close to them commit suicide are more likely to commit suicide.
Some other general risk factors to consider when thinking about suicide include:
1) age: older individuals and teenagers are most likely to attempt suicide
2) sex: men are 3x more likely to complete suicide than women and women are more likely to attempt suicide than men. Men usually use more lethal means to attempt suicide.
3) Bullying: this is significant for children and adolescents. It would appear that bullying significantly increases the risk of suicide in the younger population (just look at the recent news stories of teen suicides...).
4) Change in sleep patterns (sleeping more than usual or less than usual).
5) change in eating patterns (eating more or less than usual)
6) giving away important possessions
7) going from feeling unusually sad to very happy without any significant life changes occurring (sometimes people feel happy once they have resolved to kill themselves).
It is also important to know that people are at greatest risk for suicide when a deep depression begins to lift because they don't want to go back to that dark place. Also, recent losses (including jobs, houses, family members, pets, or the death of a loved one) increases risk of suicide. Middle aged white males are at a higher risk than any other individuals to complete suicide (especially if they have recently had a job loss).
Now that you know the risk factors for suicide, you are ready to have a discussion about suicide with someone. In our society, there are a few topics that are taboo and frightening to discuss. Suicide is one of those topics. We have a hard time talking about death and we have an even more difficult time asking people if they want to die. We think that we might put ideas in people's minds or push them over the edge. I can assure you, this will never happen. Here are some basic guidelines for talking with someone about suicide.
First, start a conversation. Try to understand the person and build some sense of trust. Ask what's bothering them. Comment on the fact that they seem different lately or they seem down or you want to help. Ask if they are okay. As you talk to the person, look for clues that can help you engage in a discussion about suicide. These can include things like, "I just can't go on like this"; "I'm tired"; "I'm done"; "I don't think I can take it"; "I just want to go to sleep"; "I wish this were over"; "I don't know how long I can do this".
As you talk with the person about the pain he or she is feeling, you can gently ask about suicide. It is important to use the words, "suicide", "death", and "kill yourself". You can say something like, "With everything going on, I am wondering if you've been thinking of killing yourself?" or "Are you considering suicide?" If the person says no, help them brainstorm ways to solve the problems they are facing and continue to listen to them. If the person says yes, ask them what is causing them to want to kill themselves. You can also clarify if they want to kill themselves or if they just want to die. Sometimes people think death would be easier and would like to fall prey to a random act of death but they are not thinking of actively taking their own life.
When people are thinking of suicide, they will feel ambivalent. They will be torn between the desire to live and the desire to die. Talking to them about this ambivalence will help the person move from wanting to die to wanting to live. Most of the time, people don't want to die. They just want the pain to stop. It is important to listen to a person express reasons for wanting to die before moving on. People cannot think about safety planning or reasons for wanting to live until they feel heard in their desires to die. I promise you that having them talk about this will decrease their risk rather than increasing it. People just want to be heard and understood!!!! Don't be afraid to have this discussion.
After you've listened to the reasons for wanting to die, ask the person what reasons they have for wanting to live. They might mention family, pets, morality, hope for the future, or fear of going to hell. I personally do not believe that if you kill yourself, you will go to hell, but I never take this reason away from people. Anything that will keep the person alive is acceptable at this point! We've had people stay alive for their goldfish before!
Next, engage the person in a discussion about lethality. Ask them if they have thought about how they would kill themselves? When? Where? With what? (you know, the 5 W's and H from English class). Ask for as many details as they can give you. Much of the time, the first method a person gives you will not be the intended method. It is important to ask, "Have you thought about how you will kill yourself?" and if the person says, "Yes" and tell you a method, follow up with, "Have you thought of any other ways?" until the person says no. The most lethal ways to commit suicide include firearms, hanging, and jumping. Once you have assessed the lethality of the suicidal ideations, you can begin to safety plan with the person. Begin asking him or her to tell someone close to him or her about it, to stay with you so that you can keep them safe until they can get professional help, ask them to give you the item they are considering using to kill themselves (pills, guns, knives, rope, etc). If you do not think you can keep this person safe, talk to them about the need for treatment. You can call 911 and they will respond quickly. You can also go to your nearest ER. There are also a number of crisis hotlines to call. Here is one: 1-800-273-TALK. It is important to get someone who is considering suicide some professional help. The best time to do that is as soon as you begin to feel lost or overwhelmed by what the person is experiencing. Last, once you have helped the individual, help yourself. Talk to someone about your feelings and take some time to debrief from a stressful situation. Then, congratulate yourself for saving a life.
If someone you know or love does commit suicide, there are two very important things for you to do:
1) DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF.
2) Get help for you and your family members (if applicable). There are many support groups for survivors of suicide as well as professionals of all types willing to help you walk through this difficult, confusing, and trying time. It's worth it to seek out someone who can help you walk through the grief and pain. Even those of us that deal with suicide every day need help when a client completes suicide. Needing help to heal is not shameful.
**I realize that I have changed tense many times in this entry (from person to they, etc.) Please excuse this. I find it tedious to write him/her every time!**
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
The "Beagle for Bayley" Debacle (part 2)
When we began to search for a "Beagle for Bayley", my hubby and I decided we wanted a beagle that would ultimately be submissive to Bayley because we feared that otherwise, she would just close off again. We discussed looking for beagles at the pound but did not want to have to rehabilitate another dog. We wanted a dog that was already fairly balanced that would help Bayley maintain her playful energy and help her overcome her anxiety. We also considered getting a puppy from a breeder but eventually vetoed this idea for a few reasons: 1) beagles, we quickly learned, are expensive; 2) we did NOT want a puppy.
Realizing that Bayley had come from Craig's List, I decided I'd check it out. At first, I found a gorgeous tricolored beagle that looked almost identical to Bayley. She was a year old and seemed perfect. I attempted to contact the owner and realized that, to my dismay, I had contacted a client. Uh, no.
After much searching, we found another dog that seemed like a great fit. She was also a tricolored beagle who was 2 years old. We set up a meeting and when we got to the house, I realized that I knew these folks too, and not necessarily from anywhere good. (This should have been my first indication to get the heck out of dodge, but excitement blinded me). We brought Bayley to meet this new dog and the two hit it off fabulously! I had never seen Bayley play with another dog as well as she played with this little beagle. They seemed to be a perfect match! We found out that this dog was currently in heat, so we arranged to come pick her up in 2 weeks, once her heat was over.
(Fast forward two weeks): On a Friday night, after I had been out on call all night the previous evening, we once again brought Bayley to see the new dog to ensure that the two will still get along now that this other dog was out of heat. We brough Bayley into the house and the dog and family all ran to greet us. Bayley immediately tucked her tail underneath her and the two stared at each other for a bit before the other dog nonchalantly walked away. Bayley began to explore the house and came upon the new dog's food. Before we knew it, the new dog was between Bayley and the food and was growling at Bayley. Definitely a difference from the first meeting. (this should have been the second clue to leave while we could). My hubby decided to take the new dog for a walk to release some energy and remove the dog from the tension in the house. The new dog apparently had never been on a leash before and fought my hubby throughout the entire walk. (Clue 3, maybe?) Naive and determined, I guess, we decided that this new dog would just need a bit of time to adjust to us so we took her home. My hubby took her and Bayley for a walk together to help them form into a pack and I got the new dog's belongings set up in the house.
The pack then arrived at the house and we introduced the new dog to the kitchen and living room. The new dog immediately found one of Bayley's hoofs and started to chew it. Bayley came near and the new dog growled at her. Not only that, but the new dog (let's call her Killer... yeah, that seems to be a good name), hunched over this hoof, bared her teeth, and got ready to fight. My sweet hubby forced the dog into submission and I removed Bayley. We then removed all food products. Next, it was time for dinner. We got both Killer and Bayley's food out and attempted to place the two bowls on the floor far apart from each other. Killer went to Bayley's food bowl and attempted to bite Bayley while commendering her bowl. Once again, my hubby forced Killer into submission and I removed Bayley. My hubby then spent an hour trying to teach Killer to be submissive to him regarding food. I quarantined myself and Bayley into a back room but I heard many fights in that hour. Killer turned out to be quite the violent, aggressive dog. By this point in time, we'd had the dog for about two hours and I was ready to give her back! My hubby still believed we could work with this dog so we kept trying. Bed time rolled around and we introduced Killer to our room where we had put her bed next to Bayley's. She refused to acknowledge this bed but went into our bathroom. My hubby tried to remove her from the bathroom and she growled, snarled, and attempted to bite him. Another fight ensued and eventually, we got the dog to lie down on the floor. I drifted off to sleep pretty quickly and was too exhausted to get up throughout the night, but I do know that my poor husband was up every hour with Killer training her to lay down instead of wandering the room.
The next morning, we woke up bright and early and let the girls outside. Killer began to bay. She bayed, and bayed, and bayed some more. Fully convinced that she had awakened the entire neighborhood, I went to call her inside. While outside with the dogs, I ran into my neighbors and their new puppy. Secretly, I began to think about how the puppy would make a great playmate for Bayley and I started to wished that we'd met her about 24 hours earlier, thus avoiding this whole fiasco. Eventually, we coaxed Killer inside and noticed that we hadn't really been paying much attention to Bayley. We looked around the house for her and found her curled into the smallest ball she could possibly form and hidden in a far corner of the house. We quickly realized that she had spent most of the time that we'd had Killer in this spot. With no further ado, my husband and I decided to give the dog back. So, I called the previous owner and left a message. As the hours past, I called the owners several more times with no answer. We began to research safe alternatives for giving up a dog on a Saturday afternoon. We were getting desperate; my nerves were shot, my hubby's nerves were shot, and Bayley had retreated back into herself. Killer had completely upended our peaceful, balanced family. Finally, we decided to just drive Killer back to the house she came from and hope someone was there. I gave the owners one final call and got an answer. Praise Jesus! The owner said that she definitely wanted Killer back (I gave her the choice to have the dog back or have us take the dog to a shelter) so we brought Killer over, the owner dumped her back in the yard, and we went home. I anticipated that Bayley would be slightly sad for her new "friend" to be gone, so I released her from her crate thinking she'd go looking for the new dog. Instead, Bayley came out of her crate, jumped on my husband and I, waged her tail and pranced through the house. I considered this to be her way of thanking us for saving her from Killer the demon dog.
(Fast Forward to present day): Once and a while, I look on Craig's list and find Killer listed again. Sometimes, she is said to be 2, other times 3. My husband believes that her owners sell her to unsuspecting families as a way to make money. Meanwhile, Bayley has become best friends with the neighbor's puppy.
Maybe a puppy isn't such a bad idea after all.
Realizing that Bayley had come from Craig's List, I decided I'd check it out. At first, I found a gorgeous tricolored beagle that looked almost identical to Bayley. She was a year old and seemed perfect. I attempted to contact the owner and realized that, to my dismay, I had contacted a client. Uh, no.
After much searching, we found another dog that seemed like a great fit. She was also a tricolored beagle who was 2 years old. We set up a meeting and when we got to the house, I realized that I knew these folks too, and not necessarily from anywhere good. (This should have been my first indication to get the heck out of dodge, but excitement blinded me). We brought Bayley to meet this new dog and the two hit it off fabulously! I had never seen Bayley play with another dog as well as she played with this little beagle. They seemed to be a perfect match! We found out that this dog was currently in heat, so we arranged to come pick her up in 2 weeks, once her heat was over.
(Fast forward two weeks): On a Friday night, after I had been out on call all night the previous evening, we once again brought Bayley to see the new dog to ensure that the two will still get along now that this other dog was out of heat. We brough Bayley into the house and the dog and family all ran to greet us. Bayley immediately tucked her tail underneath her and the two stared at each other for a bit before the other dog nonchalantly walked away. Bayley began to explore the house and came upon the new dog's food. Before we knew it, the new dog was between Bayley and the food and was growling at Bayley. Definitely a difference from the first meeting. (this should have been the second clue to leave while we could). My hubby decided to take the new dog for a walk to release some energy and remove the dog from the tension in the house. The new dog apparently had never been on a leash before and fought my hubby throughout the entire walk. (Clue 3, maybe?) Naive and determined, I guess, we decided that this new dog would just need a bit of time to adjust to us so we took her home. My hubby took her and Bayley for a walk together to help them form into a pack and I got the new dog's belongings set up in the house.
The pack then arrived at the house and we introduced the new dog to the kitchen and living room. The new dog immediately found one of Bayley's hoofs and started to chew it. Bayley came near and the new dog growled at her. Not only that, but the new dog (let's call her Killer... yeah, that seems to be a good name), hunched over this hoof, bared her teeth, and got ready to fight. My sweet hubby forced the dog into submission and I removed Bayley. We then removed all food products. Next, it was time for dinner. We got both Killer and Bayley's food out and attempted to place the two bowls on the floor far apart from each other. Killer went to Bayley's food bowl and attempted to bite Bayley while commendering her bowl. Once again, my hubby forced Killer into submission and I removed Bayley. My hubby then spent an hour trying to teach Killer to be submissive to him regarding food. I quarantined myself and Bayley into a back room but I heard many fights in that hour. Killer turned out to be quite the violent, aggressive dog. By this point in time, we'd had the dog for about two hours and I was ready to give her back! My hubby still believed we could work with this dog so we kept trying. Bed time rolled around and we introduced Killer to our room where we had put her bed next to Bayley's. She refused to acknowledge this bed but went into our bathroom. My hubby tried to remove her from the bathroom and she growled, snarled, and attempted to bite him. Another fight ensued and eventually, we got the dog to lie down on the floor. I drifted off to sleep pretty quickly and was too exhausted to get up throughout the night, but I do know that my poor husband was up every hour with Killer training her to lay down instead of wandering the room.
The next morning, we woke up bright and early and let the girls outside. Killer began to bay. She bayed, and bayed, and bayed some more. Fully convinced that she had awakened the entire neighborhood, I went to call her inside. While outside with the dogs, I ran into my neighbors and their new puppy. Secretly, I began to think about how the puppy would make a great playmate for Bayley and I started to wished that we'd met her about 24 hours earlier, thus avoiding this whole fiasco. Eventually, we coaxed Killer inside and noticed that we hadn't really been paying much attention to Bayley. We looked around the house for her and found her curled into the smallest ball she could possibly form and hidden in a far corner of the house. We quickly realized that she had spent most of the time that we'd had Killer in this spot. With no further ado, my husband and I decided to give the dog back. So, I called the previous owner and left a message. As the hours past, I called the owners several more times with no answer. We began to research safe alternatives for giving up a dog on a Saturday afternoon. We were getting desperate; my nerves were shot, my hubby's nerves were shot, and Bayley had retreated back into herself. Killer had completely upended our peaceful, balanced family. Finally, we decided to just drive Killer back to the house she came from and hope someone was there. I gave the owners one final call and got an answer. Praise Jesus! The owner said that she definitely wanted Killer back (I gave her the choice to have the dog back or have us take the dog to a shelter) so we brought Killer over, the owner dumped her back in the yard, and we went home. I anticipated that Bayley would be slightly sad for her new "friend" to be gone, so I released her from her crate thinking she'd go looking for the new dog. Instead, Bayley came out of her crate, jumped on my husband and I, waged her tail and pranced through the house. I considered this to be her way of thanking us for saving her from Killer the demon dog.
(Fast Forward to present day): Once and a while, I look on Craig's list and find Killer listed again. Sometimes, she is said to be 2, other times 3. My husband believes that her owners sell her to unsuspecting families as a way to make money. Meanwhile, Bayley has become best friends with the neighbor's puppy.
Maybe a puppy isn't such a bad idea after all.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
The "Beagle for Bayley" Debacle (part 1)
I am not sure if many of you know the story of how we acquired Bayley, so I thought I'd share it here. When we got Bayley, I had been wanting a dog for some time. My sweet hubby had told me that once we got a house, we could consider getting a dog. Both of us have always enjoyed beagles and we knew that's the kind of dog we would like to get. However, when Bayley came along, we definitely weren't looking for a dog. We had only been in our house one month when one day at work, a co-worker randomly asked, "Hey, does anyone want a beagle?" I automatically perked up and began to ask some questions. Turned out my coworker had gotten a beagle off of Craig's list the week prior and her daughter was severely allergic. I got the information about Bayley and came home to ask my hubby. After discussing it briefly, we decided we could meet the dog over the coming weekend and decide if she would be a good fit for us. We went to meet Bayley and instantly fell in love with her friendliness and energy. The rest, of course, is history. So, we came home with our newly acquired beagle and began to learn many things about her. For starters, we learned that Bayley was terrified. Apparently, Bayley had an owner that abused her. Then, she was a stray for a time before being found by a family that took her in, got her healthy and then put her on Craig's list. We learned that Bayley would not play, that if we tried to touch her, she cowered, and if we walked toward her, she flinched as if we were going to kick her. We learned that in Bayley's short life (we estimate she was 9 months old when we got her), she had been through 4 owners. We learned that she was terrified of her crate and that she cried and whined any time we put her in there. We learned that Bayley had severe separation anxiety, to which the incident in which she ate our blinds when we left the house for an hour can attest. So, we began to read books by Cesar Milan and we started to watch his show, "The Dog Whisperer". We began puppy rehab. Soon, we had rehabilitated Bayley to respond to us without flinching and to go into her crate on command. She still cried when we left, she still tried to leave with us (including darting out the front door any time we opened it) and she still refused to leave our side when we were home. But most disturbingly, she still wouldn't play. Mostly, Bayley just curled into a little ball and hid in a corner. We'd throw balls, introduce toys, give her treats... the dog wouldn't play.
After about 1 month, we began to notice that Bayley would occasionally approach one of her toys if we weren't looking. Mostly, she still just laid around and tried to anticipate our every move. Slowly, though, with time and patience, she began to play. And then something miraculous happened. This dog became the most energetic, playful creature we had ever seen. It was like we couldn't get her to stop playing. It is hard to believe now that Bayley at one point in time did not play. So, after about 2 months of rehabilitation, we had a playful pup on our hands. The dog hardly laid down. She was just so energetic. And we started to notice something else- we couldn't keep up with her. She never got tired! We'd play with her for what seemed like ages and then she'd still want to play more. So, she started playing by herself. We began to wonder if Bayley was lonely. Beagles are naturally pack animals and Bayley had become quite social at the dog park by this point in time. We began to wonder if maybe Bayley needed a friend: a beagle for her very own.
And thus began the search for the perfect beagle for Bayley.
(To Be Continued...)
After about 1 month, we began to notice that Bayley would occasionally approach one of her toys if we weren't looking. Mostly, she still just laid around and tried to anticipate our every move. Slowly, though, with time and patience, she began to play. And then something miraculous happened. This dog became the most energetic, playful creature we had ever seen. It was like we couldn't get her to stop playing. It is hard to believe now that Bayley at one point in time did not play. So, after about 2 months of rehabilitation, we had a playful pup on our hands. The dog hardly laid down. She was just so energetic. And we started to notice something else- we couldn't keep up with her. She never got tired! We'd play with her for what seemed like ages and then she'd still want to play more. So, she started playing by herself. We began to wonder if Bayley was lonely. Beagles are naturally pack animals and Bayley had become quite social at the dog park by this point in time. We began to wonder if maybe Bayley needed a friend: a beagle for her very own.
And thus began the search for the perfect beagle for Bayley.
(To Be Continued...)
Monday, January 31, 2011
The Dog Park
As I mentioned in my last post, I have a beagle named Bayley. Bayley loves to play. Bayley also loves to track, sniff, and run. Sometimes, Bayley catches a scent when we open our front door and we have to chase her through the neighborhood. In fact, in our first month with Bayley, we did this no less than 4 times. One thing we have learned over the past 10 months with our sweet girl is that if we take her to the dog park once or twice a week, she does a great deal of tracking there and comes home relaxed and content, so we have made it a habit to visit the dog park at least weekly.
Now, for those of you who do not own dogs, let me explain the wonders of the dog park. The dog park is a magical place where dog owners can take their dogs to socialize with other dogs that are similar in size to their pup. The park is a large, fenced in area where owners can let dogs run and play off leash. The particular dog park which I frequent has 3 different fenced in areas: the large dog park, the medium/ small dog park, and the aggressive/ fearful dog park (for those dogs that need time to acclimate to other dogs before being placed with said dogs). The dog park I visit also has an area in the back of the park that is not fenced in. It is full of hiking trails as well as a pond for dogs to hike and swim. Imagine a child in Chuck E. Cheese's and you can picture the thrill that most dogs receive from going to the dog park. Now, the dog park also has rules. These rules include that you must have your dog off leash when inside the fence, you must pick up after your dog, and you may not bring food of any kind into the dog park. To me, all of these rules make logical sense. Throughout my many visits to the dog park, I have determined, however, that I am in the minority in assuming that these things are logical. This brings me to my next (and primary) topic of conversation: the people who visit the dog park.
There are many types of dog owners that visit the dog park with their dogs.
1) The Naive: This person brings his/ her dog to the dog park for a picnic. They come waltzing in with their dog(s) and let their animals loose while they eat the lunch they brought. When the other dogs in the park run over in hopes of obtaining some of the sweet morsels of human food, these humans giggle and laugh. Silly dogs, wanting our food! Naive.
2) The Expert: This person will come in with his or her dogs and immediately begin observing everyone else's animals saying things like, "Oh, your dog is shy. She really needs to get over that. How old is she? Oh, just two. Well, it takes time. She'll be fine in time." Or, "You know, [insert dog breed] are just like that. They love to chew (or growl, or jump...)". This person thinks she knows everything about every dog in the park, despite not having any experience with the vast majority of these dogs. The ironic thing is that these owners usually have some of the worst dogs in the park!
3) The Excuser: This person refuses to accept responsibility for his/her dog or the dog's behavior. When his dog growls at your dog, these people will say, "oh, my dog really doesn't mean any harm." When her dog attacks your dog, this owner will laugh. When his dog pees on you, this owner will say, "Oh my, he's never done that before." When his dog knocks you over, he will say, "Oops. He's just playing." Lastly, when her dog comes in from the pond, runs between your legs, refuses to move, and then steals your water and runs around the park with it, this owner will say, "Yeah, he just loves to do that stuff." In case you were curious, I have never had any of the above happen to me...
4) The Child: While this person is not an actual child, this individual acts like a child. This is the person who sits on the ground and allows your dog to jump on them, lick them, and generally do everything you have taught your dog not to do. When you try to correct your dog against the misbehavior, this person will pet your dog while saying in baby speak, "It's okaaay. Hewo wittle won. Oh, so cuuuttteee!" This is also the person who might call your dog over to continue the misbehavior, "Baywee, come here Baywee...." Ridiculous.
5) The Irresponsible: This person thinks that coming to the dog park is a chance to zone out on the responsibilities of being a dog owner. He or she talks on the phone, texts, chats with friends, and sometimes straight up leaves for a bit. He/ She does not correct his/ her dogs, pick up after his/ her dogs, leash his/ her dogs outside of the fence, or notice his/ her dogs. I don't know why people think they don't need to pay attention to their dogs at the dog park. It's not like you would bring your child to Chuck E. Cheese and then zone out and let them do whatever they want... oh wait...
6) The Responsible Dog Owner: By far the smallest category of human in the dog park, these individuals are welcome sights to see. These are the people who engage their dogs at the park, correct their dogs when their dog either begins to become aggressive or fearful, protects their dog from other aggressive or fearful dogs, picks up after their dog, and generally keeps their dog under control.
One of my favorite activities to do with Bayley is visit the dog park. I love the dog park. I love the way that Bayley can release so much of her dog energy at the dog park and come home content and peaceful. I love seeing the other dogs romp and play. I love seeing responsible owners play with their dogs. I sure could do without most of the humans at the dog park. Being a natural introvert, I guess that fits with the rest of my life, though.
Now, for those of you who do not own dogs, let me explain the wonders of the dog park. The dog park is a magical place where dog owners can take their dogs to socialize with other dogs that are similar in size to their pup. The park is a large, fenced in area where owners can let dogs run and play off leash. The particular dog park which I frequent has 3 different fenced in areas: the large dog park, the medium/ small dog park, and the aggressive/ fearful dog park (for those dogs that need time to acclimate to other dogs before being placed with said dogs). The dog park I visit also has an area in the back of the park that is not fenced in. It is full of hiking trails as well as a pond for dogs to hike and swim. Imagine a child in Chuck E. Cheese's and you can picture the thrill that most dogs receive from going to the dog park. Now, the dog park also has rules. These rules include that you must have your dog off leash when inside the fence, you must pick up after your dog, and you may not bring food of any kind into the dog park. To me, all of these rules make logical sense. Throughout my many visits to the dog park, I have determined, however, that I am in the minority in assuming that these things are logical. This brings me to my next (and primary) topic of conversation: the people who visit the dog park.
There are many types of dog owners that visit the dog park with their dogs.
1) The Naive: This person brings his/ her dog to the dog park for a picnic. They come waltzing in with their dog(s) and let their animals loose while they eat the lunch they brought. When the other dogs in the park run over in hopes of obtaining some of the sweet morsels of human food, these humans giggle and laugh. Silly dogs, wanting our food! Naive.
2) The Expert: This person will come in with his or her dogs and immediately begin observing everyone else's animals saying things like, "Oh, your dog is shy. She really needs to get over that. How old is she? Oh, just two. Well, it takes time. She'll be fine in time." Or, "You know, [insert dog breed] are just like that. They love to chew (or growl, or jump...)". This person thinks she knows everything about every dog in the park, despite not having any experience with the vast majority of these dogs. The ironic thing is that these owners usually have some of the worst dogs in the park!
3) The Excuser: This person refuses to accept responsibility for his/her dog or the dog's behavior. When his dog growls at your dog, these people will say, "oh, my dog really doesn't mean any harm." When her dog attacks your dog, this owner will laugh. When his dog pees on you, this owner will say, "Oh my, he's never done that before." When his dog knocks you over, he will say, "Oops. He's just playing." Lastly, when her dog comes in from the pond, runs between your legs, refuses to move, and then steals your water and runs around the park with it, this owner will say, "Yeah, he just loves to do that stuff." In case you were curious, I have never had any of the above happen to me...
4) The Child: While this person is not an actual child, this individual acts like a child. This is the person who sits on the ground and allows your dog to jump on them, lick them, and generally do everything you have taught your dog not to do. When you try to correct your dog against the misbehavior, this person will pet your dog while saying in baby speak, "It's okaaay. Hewo wittle won. Oh, so cuuuttteee!" This is also the person who might call your dog over to continue the misbehavior, "Baywee, come here Baywee...." Ridiculous.
5) The Irresponsible: This person thinks that coming to the dog park is a chance to zone out on the responsibilities of being a dog owner. He or she talks on the phone, texts, chats with friends, and sometimes straight up leaves for a bit. He/ She does not correct his/ her dogs, pick up after his/ her dogs, leash his/ her dogs outside of the fence, or notice his/ her dogs. I don't know why people think they don't need to pay attention to their dogs at the dog park. It's not like you would bring your child to Chuck E. Cheese and then zone out and let them do whatever they want... oh wait...
6) The Responsible Dog Owner: By far the smallest category of human in the dog park, these individuals are welcome sights to see. These are the people who engage their dogs at the park, correct their dogs when their dog either begins to become aggressive or fearful, protects their dog from other aggressive or fearful dogs, picks up after their dog, and generally keeps their dog under control.
One of my favorite activities to do with Bayley is visit the dog park. I love the dog park. I love the way that Bayley can release so much of her dog energy at the dog park and come home content and peaceful. I love seeing the other dogs romp and play. I love seeing responsible owners play with their dogs. I sure could do without most of the humans at the dog park. Being a natural introvert, I guess that fits with the rest of my life, though.
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